ON HOLD The perks of being a Hafizah

Desi life lesson; worth a note

Amatullah's POV

The incident started to eat up inside of me; what could have been better

To open up to a friend?

"Hey, Shamilah? Urm, how does a....guy's....you know.....shoulder feel like?" I asked Shamilah.

It was lunch time at school and well....it has been exactly 20 hours since my incident. Shamilah looked at me like I had just confessed a murder.

"Astagfirullah! La howla wa la quwwata! What??!! Hang on what? Amatullah, sometimes I just don't get you" she said confused. "What makes you think I know how a guy's shoulder feels like? Have you never felt your Baba's (fathers) shoulder?

"NO! What makes you think I go around feeling my Babu's shoulder?"

like who goes around feeling there dad's shoulder? No one in the right state of mind would do that without a valid reason.

"Well, I don't know. Why don't you go feel your dad's shoulder then eh? That would help you immensely. To be honest I don't know but all I can say is that it wouldn't feel any different to any shoulder. What have you been up to OmmNomm?" (my nickname.. #embarrassed)

I took a large breath and broke down the situation to her and by that time lunch was over. Grrr!

As I paced along the corridors, I couldn't help myself but stare at all the shoulders that passed me by. I was paranoid, agitated and in a large sense of doubt. I was fully aware that it was haram to touch a guy and I really and truly, I might have actually done it.

This thought was enough to make me feel an immense amount of guilt and so broke out inside my mind:

"Ya Allah, forgive me for my sins and have mercy on me as the only one who can is you, ya Rab for You are the Ever-Merciful. Glorified are your names and endless and beautiful is your majesty and for whatever sin I have committed, forgive me as forgiveness comes only from You. O Lord of Adam (as), as you had forgiven him, forgive me ya Rab and make me of the righteous. Ya Rab, Lord of Yusuf (as) grant me taqwa from the fitnah of this world and grant me better understanding and free me of doubt for doubt comes from none other than the cursed Shaytaan. Ya Rab, shower me with your mercy and grant me from it on the Day of Judgment where even Shaytaan shall have hope in your mercy. Ya Rab forgive me."

I opened my eyes, largely relieved and content. Indeed, we should complain to none other than Allah.

I started to feel relieved and happy; a sense of contentment that put me at rest. I am not trying to be cheesy and all but girls got feelings too you know?

I walked into my English class and saw that there wasn't a teacher here yet.

"Amb (mango in Urdu/mirpuri)" screamed Sana. This girl was a girl who seemed go around, carrying all the eastern continents on her back. I seriously think at times she speaks more Urdu than English. "Amb, if you ever get caught by the police for anything, speak Urdu. That way they will think you are some type of immigrant and so will let you go" she informed me a month ago after I told her I am not going to pay insurance ever because it's rib'ah.

"Jee (yes), Sana" I said in the most slowest and dynamic (not in a good way) way possible just to annoy her.

"Allaa (ok) is it going to be like that eh? Well so be it."

"You are difficult you know?"

"Well so is Khilal."

"Who's Khilal?"

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Who is Khilal?

Mmmh......

Just a note, Khilal, plays a large role in this story later on.....

So whether you hate him in the next chapter or not, he will probably be the cause of many events.

Can't say much but I hope you are enjoying it!x