ON HOLD The perks of being a Hafizah

Love for your sister what you live for yourself

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Amatullah's POV

As I started to get comfortable with my lonely presence, I heard footsteps trail closer to me. Then, a voice spoke:

"My darling Habibti, how are you?"

Out of confusion of what sister also walked to the masjid , I turned around and saw three figures all ranging in height with one towering from the other two. It's was quite dark and 25 minutes left till the initial adhan and so was confused why would they have come so early.

As I stood still, there faces stared to come into view.

"Assalamualaykum aunty". Ok listen, I don't know how old she is, where she lives but I was taught to call every one aunty and so I shall. She was medium sized with a beautiful motherly smile stretched across her face.

"My Amatullah". She embraced me into a long big hug where across from her shoulder I saw the towering figure with his gaze fixed to the floor. My heart jumped several beats blinded by his modesty (not literally blinded, I just couldn't think of the right word ok!).

He was slim and possessed a large build. His beard was primitive and cute to which my hand started itching for the desire to stroke; oh no I didn't like him! I just like beards...a lot. My mind races with so many thought. I started to fight a battle inside myself to keep calm.

I looked down and detached myself from the aunties hug.

"How are you aunty?" I said as quietly as possible. There was a man in our presence and so I didn't want him to hear me. Not only because, well I don't want to become a fitnah, but also because I was nervous, self conscious on how he any judge me by hearing my voice. What if he thought it was harsh and he would think I was a selfish child. What if he thought I was too nice to which he may think I am naive.

"Alhamdulilah by beautiful Amatullah, all with the Grace of Allah" she squeezed my arm to which I blushed and so she stared at my face and have a warming smile.

We started to walk briskly and so breaking the silence was none other than my Zahra.

"Yo amat" spoke Zahra smiling at me sheepily.

"Wassalam ra" I retaliated.

Despite the fact that she was 3 years younger than me, we managed to click in every situation. She was my mosque buddy at times when it came to cleaning up the masjid and organising events and so I loved her a lot and what's better, she didn't backbite ever.

"Ya Habibi " aunty tried to whisper.

I turned around to see the man stationary where we were when aunty had hugged me. I couldn't help myself and stared to laugh. He was still looking at the floor frozen.

"Awww ya Habibi! Yallah Yallah!" And aunty and Zahra started laughing.

He looked up startled and confused and started to run towards us all.

"Sorry ummi. I thought you guys where still there" he said apologetically.

His voice......so weirdly......sounded familiar. All too familiar.

"Assalamualaykum wa rehmatullah" he directed towards me.

At me?

When do people acknowledge my presence?

When did I ever actually exist?

It took me 5 seconds to digest the Salam.

"Urm urm ur Assalam u alaykum wa rehmatullah he wa barakatoo wa maghfiratoo ya akhi" ok now I just wished just wished a bit too much upon him it was a sunnah to extend the Salam of the one who gave it to you but I guess I went a small step too far with wa maghfiratoo. My mind raced with thoughts. Wow, now I sound like some sort of women trying to show off. Oh no, my Izzat (honour) is in the kachra (rubbish specifically rubbish bin).

"Habibi can you hold Amatullah's Quran please. The poor girl is finding it quite hard" spoke aunty. Great.

"Oh no aunty I am fine seriously. The mas......."

Without a hesitation; he stretched out both his hands;one palm up and the other ready to hold the other side. I could smell his natural masjid ittar smell. All I wanted to do was to dig my face and take in all the smell.

As I looked up I saw the hair on his beard all naturally combed. Why was he so tall, now look at me suffer. I had no choice but to lower my gaze.

Astagfirullah.

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Astagfirullah.

The girl was none other than the girl that I had run after, the girl for which I got stung for. I glued my eyes the entirely of the time to the floor because I had a feeling that she may recognize me or that I may cause fitnah for myself. The girl on the other hand snatched some gazes at me but seemed unintentional and so I let that be. Now, ummi wanted me to hold her Quran. I walked up to her but as my eyes where glued to the floor, I didn't realised how close i was to her as I had judged it from seeing the bottom of her flowing abayah wrapping up her beauty. It was awkward to get this close, So I took a very small step back to try to raise my head to which I crossed her face as her eyes were then glued to the floor.

It was a glimpse, that captured my heart and made me want jump. It was beautiful, mesmerising, full of Noor and innocence flowing from every direction. Her face was a perfection of Beauty despite her spots and marks etc she was beautiful from the noor that spread out. She was my sister in Islam and that's the beauty I saw within her. Not the oh my gosh, I am in love but oh my gosh you are my beautiful sister in Islam.

She handed me the Quran very very carefully that she didn't touch my large hands.

"Bismillah" she said softly and sweetly. Her voice captured me and sounded a too familiar.

"I would try to close that mouth of yours Yahya" my sister said amusing me to snap out of my thoughts.

"Yahya" Amatullah whispered. I shot my gaze. She was smiling, her dimples evident.

Was she smiling at my name? I stared at her face and smiled and as she she looked back and smiled.

"Astagfirullah la howla wa la quwwata illa billa" she said snatching the moment.

We started walking to the masjid as I was much behind. Staring at her Quran and back at mine. Mind was a bit bigger than hers on size and was intrugued to know how many lines was her Quran. I opened it to any page and started to count the amount of lines: 15. The same as mine which brought a big grin across my face. Before closing the Quran, my eyes glued upon the ayah:

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What would this ayah be? How would this change the feelings of Yahya?

Keep tuned to find out! Chapter shall be out tomorrow or the day after in sha Allah!

Keep tuned and I have to give another big shout out to the sister who helped me in my pervious previous chapter editing!!! May Allah bless her!!xx

So many Apologies for this chapter if it doesn't make sense, I shall mention in the authors note that I shall write and publish today too in sha Allah!x

Assalamualaykum!