Ishimondo Oneshots

Arguing As A Married Couple

   I ring the doorbell to my friend's house, trying to balance a plate of brownies in my right hand. He immediately answers the door! "Makoto!"

   I smile. "Hey, Mondo!"

   Mondo's husband appears behind him. "Come on in, Makoto!"

   I follow Taka and Mondo into the living room and place the tray of brownies on the coffee table. They take a seat on the couch while I sit on the edge of the rocking chair. "Happy anniversary, guys!" I exclaim. "I'm sorry Kyoko couldn't come over, she had an important case to work on. She made you guys some brownies to make up for it, though!"

   "That's fine!" Taka assured me. "Tell her I hope she's doing well!"

   "I will! Now, how are you guys doing?"

   Mondo smiled widely. "We're doing great! We've been spending the day reminiscing about our time together."

   "Aw, that's so sweet!"

   Taka nods. "We were just about to discuss our first kiss!" He sighed. "That was perfect..."

   Mondo burst out laughing. "Far from it! You were so awkward when I made the move on you. Of course it was perfect because it was with you, but the way you're using the word, no, it wasn't perfect."

   "I distinctly remember that I was the one to make the move on you, and not the other way around. I was also not awkward! Stop feeding Makoto lies!"

   "Okay Mr. Smarty Pants, describe how our first kiss happened for our friend." Mondo looked to me. I stuffed a brownie in my mouth to avoid talking and getting into their married couple argument. It was best not to get in between them and just let it resolve by itself.

   Taka stood up. "Gladly. We were standing on the beach, just by the shore, watching the sunset. Our hands brushed together and we looked each other in the eyes. I leaned in, and kissed him."

   Taka stared at me, trying to get me to say something. I guess I had no choice but to get myself into this. "That sounds so romantic! I wish that's how it went for me and Kyoko!"

   Mondo rolled his eyes. "Sit down Taka, that never happened. Makoto, listen up, I have the real story. We actually were at the beach, but we were nowhere near the shore because that's where all the little kids were playing. We stood there watching the sunset, and I leaned into Taka. He fucking slapped me across the face and asked what I was trying to do. I said I wanted to kiss him, and he awkwardly gave me permission. I kissed him, but he was stiff the entire time. It definitely wasn't ideal, the place even smelt like seagull shit." Mondo noticed Taka still wasn't sitting and pulled him down. "Does that sound better than your's and Kyoko's now?"

   I was so surprised at how much their stories differed, I really wasn't paying attention to what Mondo had asked me. "I— uh—"

   "I was not stiff!" Here we go, time for a meaningless fight.

   Mondo cracked his knuckles. "Oh yeah? Let's ask Makoto then."

   "Me?!"

   "Yeah, you, you fucking idiot! Who's story do you think was accurate?"

   "I— uh—" I took my phone out of my pocket. "Ring! Ring! Oh my! It seems like my wife is calling me! I have to take this!"

   Taka rolled his eyes. "Come on, Makoto, you really think we're going to fall for that? Just pick one of us already!"

   Before I could say anything, Mondo turned his attention to Taka and said. "What if we recreated our first kiss right now? Would that help us agree?"

   Taka leaned closer to Mondo. "If you want to, I think it would be very educational."

   I rubbed my temples. "I swear to god you guys— You two are unbelievable." My friends embraced. I felt like I shouldn't be there anymore. "I'm going to skidaddle, peace!"

   I heelied away from the awkward situation like an absolute boss.