I love you, Flame Face (NatsuXFem! Reader)

I'm Useless Now

A few days have passed now and it's not gotten any better. After what happened on the hill I sat there with Natsu for hours. We didn't say anything but we sat side by side, watching Magnolia. While he didn't hug me again, he sat close enough for his arm to touch mine lightly. Once the sun had set I stood up and went home. I've no clue if he stayed there or not. I didn't enjoy being alone in the house. It felt wrong. So now I spent all my time at the guild, drinking. A lot. A lot of people had started going back out on jobs again. I knew they were still upset about it but that's how they distracted themselves, Erza especially. She'd been going on a lot of solo jobs. I know it's getting to her. She and Ivory are really close.... Were really close. I downed what was left in my cup before flopping forward and resting my head on the bar, my eyes closed. I hear someone come over but don't open my eyes. Lucy sits next to me and I know it's her because she's the only person in the guild who uses that perfume. My limp red locks cover my face so I'm not sure if she can see that my eyes are closed, but she speaks anyway. "Hey (Y/N), how're you doing?" After waiting for a response and receiving none she continues. "Me and Natsu were gonna go on a job and we were wondering whether you wanted to come with us. It might be fun." I sigh and turn my head sideways to look at her. "Look at me, I'm out of magic power. I used it all on the hill. Why else would my hair be out? I'm useless now. " I turn my head back away from her, bringing my arms up onto the bar to lean my head against. "I'm going to sleep so stop talking to me." She sighs but doesn't move away. I hear Mirajane come over and sigh gently. "She did this last time." Lucy's interest is piqued. "Last time?" Mirajane must have nodded because I hear her hair rustle. "Two years ago. Her and my baby sister Lisanna were really close friends. She was the only person who could stop (Y/N) and Natsu from fighting. They were the cutest little group, used to melt everyone's hearts. Anyway, two years ago I went out on an S-Class mission and decided to bring Elfman and Lisanna along to help. I'll spare you the details but she didn't make it back. (Y/N) and Natsu were heart broken. She stood there in the middle of the guild and her hair started going wild. Master pointed it out and she just started running. Natsu followed her. It turns out she'd gone away from the town to burn off her anger and sadness. When she gets upset or furious she loses control of her flames just like you saw from the door. Natsu's the only person who can hold her and calm her without getting burned alive. It's quite cute despite the circumstances. That's why Master sent him yesterday so that she didn't hurt herself." I feel Lucy's eyes on me and surpress a shudder. I hate pity. I can't take her stare so I sit up and look at her. "now you know that if something bad befalls us, I'm a disaster waiting to happen. I hope you enjoy that knowledge." I turn to Mira. "My cup's empty." She sighs and pours me some more which I down before glaring at Lucy. "Would ya quit staring and go off on this job already, jeese. Anyone'd think I was some sort of freak." She flinches a little at my tone before standing, gently placing her hand on my shoulder. "I'm here." I hear her whisper before she leaves. I sigh and put my head back on the bar. Great. I'm gonna end up estranged at this rate.

After three days of nothing but drinking and sleeping at the bar no one dares come near me. They've all stopped trying to persuade me to go home or take a job and my flames still haven't come back yet. I sigh. Looks like I'm gonna be out of commission for even longer. I close my eyes. Might as well sleep a bit more then. I hear mumbling before I drift off but don't catch what they say. I let sleep envelop me. In my dreams I'm back on the hill but I'm not on fire this time. I'm just sitting there and watching Magnolia. I feel his arms again. Not for the sake of calming me this time, just because. I sink into those arms, resting my head on his chest, hearing and feeling his heartbeat. He's warm and soft. One word comes to mind. Safe. I feel safe with him. When I wake up I'm confused. Me? Safe? With flame brain? No chance. I sit up. I'm in my bed at home. I rub my eyes and freeze when I hear his voice. "Rise and shine sleepyhead, you're finally awake." I look over to where his voice is coming from. The room spins. I'm still drunk. Lovely. I look over to him. "Why are you *hic* here lizard breath?" He sighs and comes over, perching on the edge of my bed before staring into my eyes. I feel my face heat up which only intensifies when he takes my hands in his. "H... Hey, what's the big idea you flaming idiot?" I try to pull my hands away but he keeps hold. I close my mouth and try to calm my heart beat. "I know it's hard and I know it hurts. We're all hurting and we're all missing her but that's no reason to take it out on everyone at the guild. We're trying to be there for you as much as possible but you're making it hard. Lucy went home crying after she tried to get you to go home the other day. It's not fair on us. We're your family now, and we're hear for you." I feel tears well in my eyes. I've been awful to them all. But they still tried. They were still there for me no matter how rude I was to them. "I... I'm so sorry..... Im so so sorry." My voice cracks and splinters its way out of my still sore throat. His hand comes up to the back of my head, holding it still as he rests his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "It's not me you have to say that to. It's everyone else. But you can't do that until you're sober." He moves back and gently wipes my tears away before flashing me that big, toothy grin. It's contagious because I can't help but smile softly. He stands and goes to get me some water. I smile before looking down at myself. I'm in different clothes.... That means.... He changed me. My cheeks become pink once again. What the hell is this feeling!?