The Odds

Chapter 7

Chapter 7: The Odds of Escaping a Ride.

A long deep audible breathe escaped my mouth. I looked at my diary. Never had I cared enough to write in it regularly. Some days, when I was overwhelmed with emotions, I took it out and penned my thoughts.

Opening it to the page where I had last left it.

15th Sept. 2017

I traced my finger over the date. The first sentence reminded me of what I had written. In 2017, I was in final year student, studying something I loved. I vividly remembered how much I loved attending classes. Spending my free time in the library, reading articles from famous academicians, critiquing the work of the other. So much fun I had, and yet in the middle of my enjoyment during my college days, my mother had asked me as to why I was always alone.

'Why don't you have any friends?' She had asked. 'Friends are important part of our lives, Sky.'

I remembered that I didn't answer her question but I did jot down my answer in the diary. I wrote, 'Hey there Nikki! I am pretty sure that my mother thinks that I don't want to make friends. She is wrong. A loner like me — a person who has endured everything and tried to bury the emotions, so deep that it would take years for them to surface — would love to have a friend. A true friend. A person who would lend me their ears and their shoulder. A person who would throw banters at me when we are alone, but always have my back in public. I think about a person like this from time to time.

'And you know what, Nikki, it's not hard. It is not hard to make friends. Cassidy has a lot of friends. I could make some too, right? But, I didn't. All through college, I didn't. Why? Because, I maybe lonely but I am not stupid. I know when people try to get close to me because of how crazy rich my family is. And, I want people who approach me, knowing that I am Skylynn, not because I am a Vendele. I need anything, but a fake person in my life.

'I try to be happy without a friend, Nikki. But, it is becoming hard. Everyday a little part of my happiness vanishes into the void of my life. A void that I want to fill with a loving person.'

The delta change still remains zero in the life of Skylynn Vendele. I thought to myself. My diary almost made me feel sad about myself and my lack of progress in building relationships. But, this sadness was nothing compared to my suffering right now. How I thought Lucas was a nice friend?

I rubbed the wetness caused by the tears from my cheek and picked up the pen. I spoke almost inaudibly as I wrote, "Dear Nikki, not a lot has changed with me. Just a few minutes ago, I told my mom, "Another day, mom. I am going to sleep." I still can't sleep. Well, Nathaniel's cologne helped me sleep, but I can't procure it. I really want to fall asleep, Nikki. I want to forget what happened today. I wished it was all a nightmare — "

"Sky! Sky!" Cassidy barged into my room. I quickly hid the diary under the pillow and laid on my stomach, with my head into the pillow. "Sky, tell me what happened."

"No! Go away, I want to sleep." My voice was unclear because of the pillow.

"I can't hear you," Cassidy grabbed my shoulders and pulled me. I struggled, screaming unclear no's from the pillow. "Get up, Sky."

I gave up and sat straight on the bed. I saw Cassidy's face, it looked concerned and confused. I couldn't figure out the proportion of different emotion stapled to her face.

"Sky, c'mon. You look like a mess. Would you please tell me?" She asked again.

"It's nothing."

"Stop being so difficult. Spill it out, already." She said, strictly.