THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD

UNCERTAINTY

Months had passed by, somethings have changed, Mike and I were closer, Annika,Mike and I now all go to school together, I have learned to like my mother a bit, I got a job so I could send some money to my sister to keep her out of trouble. It was another Monday morning, another day I hated but at least I have people who make it a lot better. I took a smoothie from the fridge and found my way out of the house. I decided to look cute today and not scary which I think caught my friends off guard. I was wearing a pair of light blue jeans and a yellow shirt with black writing and black vans. I jumped into the passengers seat since Ani was never really interested in seating here. Mike and I did our usual hand shake and waited for Ani to meet us in the car. She was taking an oddly long time to do that so Mike went in to check if she was okay. She came out holding a cute water bottle I had never seen her with and a really think cardigan which I know she would never wear. Mike's mode had changed I noticed from the way he looked at me before entering the car. We all sat in silent throughout our ride to school and that was very odd for what I know we are all loud people but I didn't want to talk because I assumed they had a family issue or something that made them like that. Ani and I went for first period in silence once again ans I was really worried. Halfway through the class she said she was going to the bathroom and I knew for a fact she hated public toilets so I followed her. I opened the door of the bathroom and saw her crying quietly by the sink.

Grace: Ani, are you okay, what's wrong( I asked her really concerned, she looked lost and in pain.)Ani: Grace the cancer's back

I stood there not knowing what to do, I didn't even know she had ever experienced something this bad. I looked at her and closed my eyes in pain. I started crying and she pulled me into a hug. I am supposed ti be there for her but I'm the one crying.

Grace:(in a shaky voice) you'll make it, you're strong( I said trying to console her in every way I knew how to)Ani: Grace, the doctors said this time they're not even sure I'll make it through chemoGrace: Are they allowed to say that (I asked really pissed) 

The whole day has been quiet for me, I don't know if it's just in my head or noe one is actually talking. I waited by the car for Mike because Ani's parents already picked her up after lunch. "Hey" he gretted me while opening the car. I couldn't find my voice answer him so I just gave him a nod and entered the car, he looked at me really concerned but I was more concerned for him. This is he's family, I'm really broken but I don't even know where to start from. ''Mike, do you think she's going to make it , how are you even this chilledand how did you even cope the lat time''. I asked him just trying to know what's going on with him and I didn' t know when tears dropped out of my eyes. I have cried enough today that I had to wear my glassses, I was tired of crying woth contacts on. ''Look Grace, all this was expected when she first got sick the doctors told us it's most likely going to come back and we all tried for some time to take care of her every mintue but them she told us that if we was goung to die soon she wants to know she actually lived a life, we couldn't convince her otherwise and the cancer actually came back a month ago but no one knew because her parents work their asses day and night to pay up her last medical bills and she kept hiding her pain'' as Mike told me all this I felt crushing pain in my stomach, I suddenly fell sick and immediately he pulled up at the drive way I went to the toilet to throw up. I wasn't the healthiest of people, I got sick easily and this is just energy draining. I saw Mike bent down behind me holding my braids as I cointinued to throw up, I felt weak and betryaed by the universe. Mike gave me glass of water to rinse my mouth and he helped me to the bed.Grace: I want to be there for her but I already feel so weak and defeted.Mike: we all feel this way, get some rest, I'll call your work and tell them you ain't coming.''Thanks'' I said and drifted to sleep because of the constant punding of my head and heart.I woke up at exaclty seventy thrity and I had lots of assignments and reading I had to catch up with. I couldn't go to Ani's because she was staying at the hospital tonight. I hate the idea of reading but I still need to go to college so. I got my pencil case and began pacticing some SAT past questions.The night went by fast and I hadn't eaten since breafast and it was already ten. I knew my mum was back but she didn't bother checking on me. I made myself some cereal but I couldn't even eat little, I wanted to take a walk but it was already late. I went back upstairs to text Mike.Grace: Hey, you up?

Mike: yeah, what you doing?

Grace: Was trying to eat but I couldn't Wanna come over? I'm lonely

I meant what I said , I was actually really lonely and I felt I needed a little company. I heard a small knock on my window, Mike already knew my mum, if he came through the front door all hell would have broken loose. I opened the window as quiet as possibly, so my mum wouldn't wake up. He sat down beside me trying to start a conversation but we both seemed lost. Mike looked at me the way I had never seen him look at someone before so I was really struggling to tell how he was feeling. He's eyes ignited light that I felt only I would be able to see.''You know Ani wouldn't forgive me if I never tell you how I felt'' he said snapping me out of my thoughts and putting me on a tough sport. We were friends, at least that's what I told myself, ever since I knew he was Annika's cousin I stopped myself for feeling anything possible. I'm good at hiding my feelings it became part of me living with six siblings, parents that never understood us and so many financial crisis. I sat there all clouded in my thoughts leaving him to keep questioning himself. ''The friendships gonna be awkward now isn't is'' he asked looking so worried.'' Look from what I know people say things they don't want to or mean when they feel weak and maybe now's not the right time'' I said with the little confidence I had left. ''I think it's better I leave'' he got up and was about to make he's way out when I did something I never expected. Our lips slowly merged together and they began to move in sync, he tasted just like I had imagined the first day I saw him. I pulled away because I felt I was using him as a rebound, what would Ani think, would she be okay with this. He still looked a little down and then he left without even looking a me. The loneliness came upon me again like a cloud covering the sky, I felt I had nothing left but I was a fighter and I had to make things right. I sent him a text because that's way easier than talking to him in personGrace: I'm really sorry if that didn't make you comfortable and I don't want any of us to do what we're not ready for.I felt i was saying rubbish but what more could I say.Mike:It's fine

One thing I noticed about we humans is that we get really fragile when we feel vulnerable  but I didn't expect him not to even look at me after all he started the conversation.

I wanted to give him a serious come back because usually saying its fine is never fine, why would he say that to me,have I really destroys everything. The night was really cold it made me realize how messed up my life was and how I had forgotten about my friends back at home.