THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD

"CHEMO"

''Grace, Grace'' I woke up to my mum yelling my name. I opened my eyes to view her fully dressed when it wasn't even seven. ''yes''I replied with a shaky voice. She pulled my duvet off me ''why would you send Jaynie money, since when did you become the family's bank, o so that's why you took the job'' I stared at her in confusion like where did I go wrong ''Mum firstly what's wrong with me sending my sister some money?" I asked in the nicest way possible '' well good news she's not your sister and I don't want to hear of this again'' she slammed my door and left the room. I couldn't breathe, I felt like the God had turned his back at me, I was sweating, hyperventilated and at the same time I was vomiting constantly. As if it wasn't enough that Ani had cancer,Mike was pissed at me, that I was where I didn't want to be and now here she is telling me that the only sibling I actually really cared about was not blood and now I realized why she always treated her like crap. There I was on the floor in my bathroom waiting for someone to pick me up because I had fallen deep. I was already late for school, I had no energy to think about even going, Mike didn't wait so we would go together I saw him leave a while ago. I picked up the remaining pisses of myself because that's what I always do, because my family always messes me up whenever it seems convenient for them. I had no strength whatsoever to actually dress up today, so I had a really long shower after all I was already late and I look sick enough to play the sick card. I put on a pair of black palazzo's, a black lacy crop top, with black boots. I let my braids down for the first time since I came here and wore my glasses. At this point it was already 11:00 am and I was still walking, when I got to school I went to class and unfortunately I had this one with Micheal and the only empty seat was beside him. I really don't care about my feelings for him right now because I have so much going on in my life right now. I sat down paying attention to every detail the teacher said, when I'm in pain I fall back to my books because its way easier to drown myself than to face reality. He didn't look at me not even once but I still felt dizzy and my stomach began to hurt. Class had ended and I was rushing to the bathroom to fix my hair because I was getting weir stares but what do they know, people never know whats going on inside you but all they know how to do is judge and make conclusions. I felt a grip on my shoulders and I recognized that perfume anywhere. ''I don't know if I'm ready but one thing I know for sure is that we need to be here for each other'' he said holding on tight to me. I just wanted someone to be there for me when I needed them the most and here was Mike being the hero. I hugged him so tight I think the whole school stopped to watch us because everywhere suddenly became quiet. The day had ended so Mike and I were going to the hospital to see Ani. We were on our way to the hospital when flashes from this morning came into my view and tears dripped down my face, I tried to cry quietly so Mike wouldn't notice but he was already staring at me ''Grace, hey, what's going on, you know you can talk to me'' he said rubbing his hands on my thigh. I decided to tell him since he was basically my own friend that I could tell my problems to at this point in time. I could see from he's eyes that he has been hiding so much hurt and all this just brought so much on him. ''I'm here for you'' he kept say now holding my hands, all this body contact was making me feel some type of way that was oddly new. ''Aniiiiiiiiiiiiii" I yelled with my best girly voice when I entered her hospital room, she looked so excited even though she had so many wires or whatever they call them pulled into her body. She looked pail, she was wearing a binny so that meant the worst part had happened. We hugged for soo long Micheal had to join us because he was tired of waiting. Even though everything between Mike and I was in the past or as we both decided to tell ourselves, Annika knew something was up. ''Mickey could you excuse Grace and I, it's time for girl talk'' she said to her cousin in the nicest way she could which wasn't nice so I mouthed a sorry to Mike before he left. Grace: So what do you want to talk about

Annika: what happened (she said wiggling her eye bows)

Grace: Where and when (I asked her honestly clueless)

Annika: Don't act dumb, I saw the way Mike was looking at you ( for some reason she was really excited, what did she expect me to say)

Grace: Just because I don't want you to keep pressuring me I'll tell you ( she clapped her hands in excitement waiting for me to tell her)

Grace: Well firstly we kissed (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she screamed like a totally healthy human being) I want to finish so you wont make things difficult for me ( I told her kind of blushing saying it out loud that we kissed)

Annika: Grace, why you ashamed, why don't you wanna tell me after all there's nothing wrong. I just want to know that when I'm leaving you both are happy(she said will full on seriousness)

Tears rolled down my eyes and I could fell the world been empty all over again. I have to be here for Ani but right now I can't so i rushed through the door to find the closest toilet. I ran into a stall and began throwing up. This isn't normal, I feel weak each time any sort of thing happens to be these days. I feel like I was so caught up in my own life I didn't notice what Ani was going through. I felt, selfish, lost and out of control. I was cleaning up my eyes to return to Ani's room but before I could get there Mike was already holding me. The way he held me told me that everything was not fine, he didn't want me in her room but why? I didn't have to ask because Micheal knew I over thought every situation.

Micheal: she passed out

And the speed that I had never felt before dawned upon me, I ran aimlessly, I had no one to go and no one to run to. I removed my phone from my bag and decided to face time Shaneesa. She picked up the call but her eyes were bloodshot, her face was covered with tears and she seemed as tired as I.

Grace: (I wiped my tears to be strong for my friend) Hey boo whats up. You look so down what happened

Shanessa: I'd say same to you (she said with even more tears pouring out her eyes that were now swollen)

Grace: I don't want to throw my problems at you right now just tell me what's wrong

Shanessa: I know you won't tell me what's wrong with you if I don't tell you what's wrong with me so here goes. ( She wiped her nose and continued sobbing) He left

Grace: Guy, do you mean your dad? and please I need details

Shanessa: He left my mum and I don't know how you did it but I'm literally dying

Grace: hey.hey it gets better, you're strong and I know you'll get through it

I knew that she wouldn't be okay for a while but all I had to there was be there for her. We literally spoke about everything, she felt more sorry for me than herself when I told her what has been going. I sat by the road side just talking to her for hours before her grand mother came so she had to go. My legs, my head and everything in me didn't feel like a part of me. I couldn't feel any of them at this point and I didn't know how I was going to make it home not that I wanted to be there. I rose because I always told myself that I could make it through literally anything. I took little steps until I reached my house, it was already 8:00pm when I got home. I saw Mike's car parked in front of his house I wanted him to be there for me but I knew that it was supposed to be the other way round. I crawled into comfortable cloths as soon as I got to my room. I looked up and thought where was God through all this. Darkness clouded my thoughts and all I could see was a casket a roses falling unto it but I couldn't figure out who was in it. I heard my heart pounding immensely and there was some type of innermost peace deep down.