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So, things were officially over with Adonis and me. For just an instant, though, I thought that maybe I had overreacted a little bit, and should have gone to apologize to him. The more I thought about what happened though, and Adonis's track record, the angrier I got all over again, so I just decided that it was in Adonis's best interest to come to me first.
One day we were in the studio, as Adonis was recording a new song. I had been avoiding him all day, and had just been doing my part and working with Angelo and the other engineers to make sure everything was perfect.
Adonis finished singing and came into the control room. I had been standing behind the engineer. Now he stood right next to me, his large body towering over mine and said, "What's up?"
"Nothing," I said, keeping the conversation short.
"How've you been?" He asked.
"Good."
"I miss you....and I'm sorry." He suddenly said with a little bit of a pout.
"Cool." I said, not really taking that as a real apology.
"Selena, baby. Come on, now. For real." He said, immediately, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my body into his.
"No, Adonis." I told him, gently pushing him away. "I'd really rather be left alone right now, okay? I'm working!"
"No. Never." He said to me. "But, in all seriousness, I apologize, baby." He told me how he needed to get his act together, how he was gonna cut back on the drinking and smoking, he promised me nothing went down between him, the guys, and the strippers, and how he would never disrespect me like that again.
"I hope I ain't embarrass you too much. You know I'd never do anything to hurt you, Sel. I don't wanna lose you."
I hugged him hard. "Of course you're not gonna lose me. I'm right here." I reassured him. We stayed like that for a long time, despite the fact that the engineer was in the control room with us, having to act like he didn't see or hear anything at all.
✨
By this time, I had started telling just a few close friends about Adonis. I had also told my parents that we were seeing each other. I knew they would be supportive, but the first time I brought Adonis home to meet my mother and stepfather, he was extremely nervous.
Adonis was about to perform in Hampton, so he was dressed for the stage in a sexy black outfit with a loose button up shirt and thick leather pants and he'd picked his high-top fade out. "I'm trying to look my best for when I meet your Mama, you know what I'm saying?" he confidently grinned at me.
The meeting between Adonis and my mother went well, I told him later. I could tell that my mom liked him.
Still, Adonis said, "A nigga was more nervous about meeting your Mama, than I was about going onstage tonight."
After that night, however, Adonis spent a lot of time at my mother's house whenever he came to Hampton. He had an excuse to do that now, because he had found shops in Hampton that sold that thick, gold jewelry he loved to adorn himself with. Looking back at pictures of him during that time, you can see him wearing gold chains, gold bracelets, gold wristwatches, and gold earrings. He was just covered in pure gold.
Adonis would tell his family that he was shopping in Hampton, and then he would come see a movie with me, or we'd go out to eat. We weren't as afraid of being recognized in the city, though I was still on guard. Adonis would want to walk with his arm around me, but I'd say, "Hey, you know how much I wanna be affectionate with you in public and all that, but until you think your father is ready to hear about us, we gotta to be careful."
Sometimes, Adonis would just come hang out at my mom's house. He was more relaxed with my mother than he was with almost anyone else, probably because he was away from all of the things pulling at him-and because my mom accepted us as a couple. Adonis used to sit in the glider in the backyard, just swinging and talking to my mother. He also loved taking walks with me and my mom around the neighborhood because it was quiet and nobody ever recognized him.
He enjoyed watching my stepfather cook, too. Once, he had bought a big roast with a bone. While we were in the kitchen talking, Adonis watched Papa, mesmerized, as he cut up the meat for stew and set the bone aside. Adonis was fascinated by these small domestic details because he had been on the road for so many years with his family.
"Aye, Big Dog," Adonis said to my stepfather, using the nickname he'd call any man he highly respected. "What are you planning on doing with that big ass bone?" he asked.
"I'm gonna make some soup," Papa said, laughing at him.
"What the hell? You can use a bone to make soup?" He was amazed.
Another night, when my mom suggested a walk, Adonis asked if he could walk to the corner barefooted.
Startled, my mother told him that of course he could. "But what in the world would you want to do that for?"
"I don't really know. I'm weird like that," Adonis said. "It's just something I never really get to do."
Another afternoon, I was outside washing the car with my mom. Adonis and my stepfather had just come back from shopping when all of a sudden the ice cream truck came by. Adonis ran back outside, all excited covering his mouth with his fist in amazement. "Oh, shit, baby! Is that a real ice cream truck? What the fuck, I didn't know them things actually existed! Come on, Selena! Let's go get some ice cream real quick!"
I laughed and said sure. Adonis made a beeline for that truck, dragging me along with him, reminding me again of all of the simple things about childhood that I'd taken for granted that Adonis never really had. He had given up his childhood to make music and go on the road with his family.
He never complained about it, but Adonis was never really allowed to be a carefree child the way most of us are. Sometimes I felt that loss for him. I always wondered if that was the reason why he was always getting himself caught up in some tom-foolery. I was happy to give him at least a glimpse into the way ordinary people lived. Looking back, I only wish that I could have given him more.
