Perception

XXII

It took her ages to get to sleep, of course.
First of all there was all the mess she'd left when she'd run out the door to meet him. And even if she was aware that a lot of people would have just thrown all of it on the chair and dealt with it in the morning, or in some cases not at all, that just wasn't the sort of person she was. So she stood and hung all the clothes back on their hangers, putting them back in their habitual places in her wardrobe.
Then she stood in front of the closed doors of the cupboard and she had already almost pulled her shirt off to get into bed when she decided that she was still way too full of all the impressions of the evening, so instead she turned left, to make a cup of tea.
She moved silently through her little kitchen to boil the water, making very sure that the kettle wouldn't whistle so she wouldn't wake the whole house after midnight, and brewed her Twinings chamomile and spiced apple tea.
No need to add green tea to the not-sleeping influences, after all, no?
She sat down in her comfy chair with her steaming teacup in both hands and looked at the dark square of her window. At some point in the last half hour it must have started raining, because the water was dripping off it in rivulets by now.
For a moment she smiled to herself at how lucky they had been with the weather. There was something just so satisfying about the sound of rain on your roof after you had gotten in the house dry, wasn't there?

It was almost two o'clock by the time she finally pulled her duck egg comforter over herself and closed her eyes, but even then she lay awake, replaying in her mind the images of restaurants, of quiet streets, of trams and ferry rides.

The darkness was all around her, enveloping her with iron fists, and the smell of moss invaded her nostrils violently. Her hand was hurt. It was stinging and she smelled the faint scent of iron, mixed with the earthy scents of the forest all around her. She must have been bleeding, but she had no time to look.
"Help!" she screamed. "Where are you?"
She fled on, feeling the bark of the trees under her fingers as she tried to feel her way around in the pitch black, keeping her other arm in front of her face to stop the branches from hitting her eyes.
Where was he?
It was only the overwhelming feeling of knowing where to go to that drove her forward now, of knowing that danger was following her, was all around her.
"Help!" she screamed again, the sound hoarse now. "Eli, where are you?"

Her eyes flew open and she sat straight up in her bed, gasping for air, her nightshirt moist from the cold sweat as she tried to catch her breath.
Then she got up abruptly and looked through her bag for her phone. She needed Sarah, she needed her now, she needed to call her...
But her fingers touched the smooth wood of the little box instead and instantly she grabbed it and took it out of the bag gingerly. She opened the lid with shaking fingers and picked up the string of beads, letting them run through her fingers... and then she exhaled.
The stress and the fear left her system slowly now, almost as if she was being held by someone she loved. By someone she was near to.
She was all alone in her little room, but somehow... she felt better.

She looked at the small clock that hung above the door: it was only five a.m.. She could only have slept for a couple of hours, and now she wasn't sure if she'd get back to sleep at all.
She sighed despondentely as she got back into bed and closed her eyes, willing the frightening images to stay away. And somehow, with the beads clutched firmly to her chest, she instantly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.