What is Love? [BxB]

viii

Authors Note; Hiya! I know it's been a while, but what can I say, I'm a very busy person hehe. Welp, this chapter isn't very eventful, but writers block is a [insert bad word here]. Also, I'm aware Elle hasn’t been mentioned much but yeah, he’s going to start showing up more after this chapter. Anyway, enjoy! 

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           viii – bedridden

When I had first entered Weber Academy in the tenth grade never, in all of my years of living, did I think I would make a friend, let alone have one of the hottest guys in school ask me out. At first I thought it was a prank, an actual prank set up by the football team or something. Just like in one of those teen fictions I read where the hot jock asks out the loner kid because a few of his buddies thought it would be funny joke.

Never did I think Sammy was gay at first sight. I didn’t believe it when I turned him down the first, or even the second time. It wasn’t until I consulted Jace that I found out Samuel is in fact gay and not one of the bullying type of jock either; he is a really nice one, as Jace had explained to me.

Sammy was on the honor roll, played every school sport to stay in shape, and everyone loved him. I didn’t believe Jace words at first, no one so perfect would ever ask me, the quiet boy at the back of the classroom, out. But after watching Sammy for a while, I found out he really is the perfect person everyone makes him out to be.

So, regretfully, I approached him as soon as I caught sight of him in the halls one morning and apologizing progressively. Sammy laughed when I told him everything, not a taunting or cruel laugh, but a gentle and hearty one. The moment I heard his laugh, and saw the warm smile on his face I just knew he was the one, the one I wanted to spend my entire life with.

It was like love at first laugh. Cliché, I know, but still true.

Since then I couldn’t believe how lucky I got with him, and I still can’t believe it. How he figured out I was gay will always be a mystery because the only people who knew at the time was my family and Jace, both sworn to secrecy. Nonetheless, our relationship has been an unforgettable one.

Sammy treated me like anyone ever wants to be treated, like royalty. He bought me gifts at the most random times, talked to me about silly things until the wee hours of the morning, and took me on spontaneous dates. It truly felt like a dream come true being with him. That is until he told me about his problem, something he’s never told anyone before me.

It was then I figured the perfect person I thought Sammy to be did, in fact, have his flaws.

He is a homophobic homosexual.

I never really saw the signs of him being one until a year and a half had passed in our relationship, after that is when I started to really take notice. Sammy would show signs of aggravation towards me, even when I did nothing wrong, he got a little rougher, and eventually started with the cruel words and abuse. He would always be so hostile. Though, I can’t say he’s aggressive all the time around me, it’s every few days, usually after something, or someone, triggers him.

Now, all my thoughts consist of are what if I had done this, or maybe if I sought out help things would be different. What if… What if…

Unfortunately for myself, I didn’t really do anything but hope he would stop, sometimes beg and plea for him to just quit with his torturing. I didn’t do anything until recently, when I woke to find myself in a hospital bed. At that moment, I was about ready to end things with him, for good, but something stopped me. Whether it was his pleading eyes or cracking voice I don’t know, but the moment I saw the unleashed tears I knew I could never leave him. Not really.