Dont Breathe

Thanatoscopophilia

I quickly closed the book at the sight of ' This journal belongs to Howard Jones ' . I took a deep breath and opened the book again.

It was filled with sketches and notes of machines, and not any types of machines...they were killer machines.
They all showed different ways on how to kill people using them.

While reading this book another side of me awoke. The side I hid for almost half of my life. The sickness that I had which made my parents verry afraid of me, no actually they were terrified of me. And even though they did not show it, I could see their reaction whenever I talked about it.

Thanatoscopophilia also known as Necrophilia is the mentality sickness that is associated with the unusual clingy affection if death. It is also the mentality illness that I was diagnosed with.

And they were right, I loved watching horror movies.And not just any horror movies traumatizing ones.

The ones that make you cringe. That shows exactly what happens. The blood, the guts, the dead bodies the every thing! They made me laugh.

What my parents feared the most was my definition of tragedy and comedy. To me a tragedy was when I cut my finger, and comedy us watching someone fall into the sewer, break his neck and dies. It's so hilarious.

I knew I wasn't going to find love with this problem and so I hid it. I swore to never ever watch horror movies again, no matter the temptations.

But the book wasn't a movie. It didn't have motion pictures. It was just pages explaining the death. It didn't qualify as something that is watched, no it was something that is read.

I didn't notice that I had spent three hours reading the book. I just couldn't put it down. But I had to, I mean the house wasn't going to clean itself.

Not wanting anyone to find the book, I hid it where no one in the house dares to go. The cleaning supplies closet. My family hates cleaning. They do enjoy sitting in a clean place but hate it when they have to clean. I tried convincing them to start looking after themselves but it didn't work.

And so I had to be the one cleaning after them. I know it's unfair but I kind of like doing it.