✧✦ cyberbaby ✦✧

𝙋 𝙍 𝙄 𝘿 𝙀

"ria, i'm gay, not delusional. i know a fellow homo when i see one." she scoffed, narrowing her eyes at me.

"i'm telling you, she is not les, zen."

"i'll bet you fifty."

"and miss the first tour my ult is having in this country? i'll pass thanks." i pushed back against the table and leaned into my chair's backrest to cross my arms over my chest. if disbelief could be framed in a picture it would've been my best friend's face right now, who sat on the table — completely ignoring that school rules existed — and her legs man-spreading. she always blamed it on growing up with three older brothers and i quote "just because i'm a female doesn't mean i need to be feminine" which was usually followed by a rant of social-normative and gender-roles biases. maybe because my mom drilled into my head that boys will only ever be attracted to reserved, well-mannered girls ever since i was a kid that i couldn't understand this reasoning of zen's.

"you're so lame." she rolled her eyes, which was a habit of hers and no matter how much i expressed my distaste of the ill manner she continues to ignore me. "anything that isn't kehlani, joji or sam smith is lame in your books."

completely ignoring me, she stared passed my head to dreamily admire the girl sat at the next table. "if i'm right, which i usually am by the way, do you think she'll like me?"

"i'm the last person you should be asking for a vibe check. i genuinely thought you were excited for every english lesson but trust me to not read the room and your obsessive staring." zen chuckled, rolling her eyes, yet again, before nodding. you'd think after six years of friendship she'd at least know how ignorant i was to the outside world — 80% of my time is spent in my head pondering up delusions of my alternative future if i wasn't as lazy and short-lived motivated as i was.

"ha, the fact you even knew i digged chicks and still didn't click when i would go on and on about my private tutoring lessons with mrs. ako despite literally being born and bred in england." she exasperated, throwing her arms over her head in disbelief and confusion.

"whateverrr," it was my turn to roll my eyes. "do you still take those personal sessions with her or nah?"

"of course! i'm really struggling with analysing cartoons." zen pulled her bottom lip out to form a pout, shrugging her shoulders up and giving big doe eyes in order to look innocent. the two girls burst out laughing and the older shook her head, "you could never act on these hormones of yours. a teacher-student fling is not a card on the table."

"i knowww," she 'duh'ed. "but it doesn't mean i can't have little fun seeing her reaction to small hints. she blushes like crazy. i think she's totally into it."

"stoooop." i whined, covering my ears and scrunching up my face.

"that's not what she said." a deep voice threw into the conversation and i quickly turned around to see a tall male passing by, chuckling. "because she was with me!" zen yelled at his back and i lowly laughed at her, shaking my head in disbelief. zen came out last year and it was completely the opposite to how she regards her sexuality now. she used to be shy and pretty emo when we first met but as soon as she came out — super awkwardly by scribbling "i'm gay" at the bottom of her mug and purposefully taking a long sip of her coffee until i noticed the scew handwriting — it was like all her insecurities fell away. the whole school knows she's into other girls and she refuses to let anyone forget, that's for sure!

the bell rang and my shoulders slumped. "one more period and then we're both free from lectures! i'll wait for you seeing as i have a freeee periooood!" she cheered, standing up on the table and did a little happy dance. i frowned up at her as i slung my tote bag over my shoulder and noticed zen's eyes widen and quickly climbed down. i followed her line of sight and ended up seeing the girl zen was lusting over earlier approach our direction. wordlessly i waved goodbye to my bff and hurried to class with a giddy feeling bubbling in my stomach. zen was finally getting someeee!

not to burst her bubble but my best friend was weak in the dating scene. there is never a moment she's not overconfident until she's standing in front of someone who gives her butterflies. she blames it on her being a "power bottom".

but i was definitely not one to talk. unlike zen, i've never been in a serious relationship.

* ੈ ✧‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✧‧₊˚＊

zen is definitely my uncloseted alter-ego 🥳🏳️‍🌈 so please don't come for her, i will cry 🥺

this is a pretty bland intro but it WILL get better, i promise😭 this is a never-been-done-before type of read😗

i love you ♡

✧✦ 𝐐&𝐀 ✦✧
on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay are you?
—a part of me wants to be in denial but maybe a 4?

— M [ ²⁵ 𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚎 ²⁰]