Spectrum (AppleDash fanfic)

I've Been Waiting For The Sun With My Wide Eyes

Dash snuggles her face against AJ's skin,wanting to verify her presence to herself once more. She focuses, going over a checklist in her mind to relax. She evaluates every muscle from head to toe, making them go limp, and finishing off by creating a steady, relaxing beat with her breathing. She imagines her ribs rising and falling.

"Whaddaya mean?" says Dash after a long while.

AJ rests her hand on Dash's head, on her hair, and her fingertips hardly touching Dash's cheek. She thinks a moment, trying to decide how to best answer Dash's  question.

AJ gives a long sigh,"I've been through a lot in my life,Dash. I've watched everyone around me deal with their problems in some wrong way, addicted to a false sense of happiness. I knew if I ever touched the bottle, picked up the blade, struck someone I loved,lit up a cigarette, or any of that mess, I'd be hooked. I learned the secret though, or decided not to ignore it anyway. You have to get up and try. Most of the time, nothing goes away without action. So I got up and dealt with what I felt and faced. Flip the cards you're dealt with, y'know?" she paused and realized her cheeks were slick with shed tears, though she didn't dare wipe them to alert Dash they were there.

Rainbow Dash,totally tuned in, nodded, and silently wished for her to continue.

"I just...had a firm ambition for true, lasting happiness. I wanted to be happy with the truth because lies crippled my heart, but the truth is often a sad,sad thing. So I learned to be happy with honesty itself," she said with a tone that indicated she was finished talking.

Dash wanted to talk,but memories of past feelings flooded her,the pressured athlete, aching for some type of approval until she pushed herself too far. Dash squeezed her eyes shut, willing them to go back to the corner she'd stuffed them in. Then she remembered what Apple Jack had said about how you can't will everything away.

"But anyways, I know I'm ramblin'. I'll let you sleep cause I imagine yer anxious for some good rest," piped up AJ in reply to Dash's resonating silence.

Apple Jack began to get up and nudge Dash off of her, seeking distance. She silently cursed at herself for opening up for no reason. Dash decided it was now or never, and she'd never felt the opportunity screaming louder for it to be taken.

"Wait," was all Dash could say, slightly shaking her head.

AJ settled back down and placed her arm over Dash once more, waiting for her to speak.

"I-uh. It's okay. I understand. I...understand what you mean and what you feel," started Dash rockily, "I'm going to sound spoiled...but my parents divorced. And they put me right in the shit storm. My mom would take me out with the man she was having an affair with and Daddy would do the most awful things to try and get even with her. I think the worse he involved me with was when he had the conversation with me:

D: You're mother's a whore, amirite Raine?

Me: .....

D: It's okay;I won't tell. I can see it in your eyes; you hate her too.

Me: *shakes head*

D: But she ripped this family apart; she doesn't care about me and she damn sure doesn't care about you.

Me:*tear falls*

D: See, she made you cry. No telling how many times she's made you before so now you can't hold it back around me. Such a shame.

Me: *gets up to leave*

D: Oh, here Raine,darling. Here's a letter I wrote to your mother,go ahead read it, have a laugh with me *pats the couch beside him*