Silent Letters

Chapter 17

⚠️ Extreme Trigger Warning:Contains Selfharm and thought of death. If these are sensitive subjects, I suggest not reading. Thank you for your patience. I repeat, if this is sensitive for you, do not read.⚠️

This is more of a flashback for Error, so don't expect anything grand from the others since it's only his flashback.
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It was early in the morning, and nobody else was awake, except Error. He hadn't slept a single minute. Nor did he want to. Not that he could at least

Thoughts kept haunting him. Images flashing in his mind.
Voices taunting him.
Ideas that drove him crazy.

He was staring at his knife, shifting it to see the way the sun glared off of the clean metal.

Metal.

He had never done it before. Scratch that.

He had done it once, maybe even a few times, but one reason was because when he was younger, other people talked about it.

It was such a popular topic. He wanted to be popular too. So he tried it. He showed his friends, wanting to be 'cool' and 'popular'.

It only got him a counselor. He wasn't popular at all.

But as he got older, he always had constant thoughts of what it would be like to feel it. To feel that cold metal slice the bone, watching the crimson marrow seep through the cuts and drip from his arm.

He had done it when he was 13. He became stressed and thought back to what people ssid it did to a sad person. It made them feel better, they had said.

He had cut his thigh, so it would be less suspicious since he wore long shorts anyway, and they were right. It fid make him feel better.

A lot better.

So he kept doing it, day after day, month after month until there was no room on his entire thigh.

So, he switched to the other leg until his thigh was entirely covered. Once it was, he moed to his chest.

His brother had caught him doing it once, slicing and scarring his sternum and ribs. He begged Fresh not to tell, but being him, he instantly ran to his mother.

Error was 'grounded' from every single sharp object, from knices to the smallest piece of plastic.

He thought it was unfair. He just..wanted to feel good. To feel relieved.

He truly didn't see what the big deal was, until his saw faded scars on Geno's wrist that looked self inflicted.

He never picked up a knife with bad intentions towards himself again. He never saw life the same.

He kept imagining Geno or Fresh doing that to themselves, and he then understood why his family made such a large deal about the wounds and scars.

He made a promise to never do it again..but now. Now was not the time to be lying to himself. 

He studied the knife, turning it over. It was sharp, not even close to being dull.

It would be easy. Just a little nick of the blade would draw blood. That fact alone pleased Error.

He rolled up his sleeve enough to see the top of his humerus, not quite at the shoulder.

He exhaled deeply and rested the blade on his arm, closing his eyes.

Moments passed by, and he opened his eyes to see blood trickling down his arm, the knife dripping blood. He had cut, but didn't even notice.

He only noticed the feeling of relief that washed over him once it was done and over with.

Just to re-experience it, he did it a few more time before becoming dizzy. He wiped the blood off grom his arm and his knife with he coat, which was already blood stained.

He wrapped a torn piece of fabric from his shirt and tied it tightly around the cuts.

"Sorry Geno..Fresh..I can't drag you into my problems..you already have your own..d-damnit F-Fresh..y-you carefree a-asshole.."

Tears rolled from his sockets. "I miss you so much.." He hiccuped.

You're so annoying Fresh! I hate you! Just leave me alone!!

"I-i'm so sorry.." He hugged his knees.

I HATE YOU! I don't want to even be your brother!

Error hiccuped, beginning to tremble.

Just..JUST DIE! I hate you so much!

Error sobbed quietly, reliving every negative time he spent with his younger brother.

God you're such an idiot! No wonder you have no friends! You're a FREAK!

He hugged himself tighter.

"B-brother..i-i miss you..s-so much...i-i'm so f-fucking sorry...i-i'd do anything in a h-heartbeat..just to g-get you back.."

"I-I miss y-your st-stupid games..y-your weird l-lingo..y-your personality...I miss you.." He sobbed

"I m-miss you so d-damn m-much..I-I miss you s-so much it hurts..I-I'm t-the worst b-brother ever..I.."

"I love you..brother.."

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Another short one. apologies.
Sooooo I TOTALLYYY didn't cry writing the end. Like, pshhh why would I everrr do that.  ;3;

Bro I almost sobbed-
I feel so bad for Error-

Enjoy some feels  :]

Maybe I can post 1 or more other chapters todayyyy-

Goodbye you lovely human beings-