I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy ...

Chapter 19 - All Over You

Succeeding in any task gives me a sense of accomplishment that doesn't seem to leave for hours. Our Dance, Dance video was done and I couldn't be happier about it. It was unlike anything we had tackled before in our short video shooting career, but I felt it was going to be good. Maybe even newsworthy enough to encourage the press to focus on the actual music of Fall Out Boy, instead of my awkward personal life.

We tumbled back into the Warped Tour lifestyle as smoothly as any professional would (if you could call us that). The days were becoming hotter, and I felt the air grow thick as we traveled south. As if to make up for the extreme temperatures the shows only got better. The fans seemed to respond to our new found fame with a whirlwind of hate and love. We received it all with a mix of gratitude and apprehension as we began to realize our band would never be the same. I had the sudden realization that I was really getting more than I bargained for.

The 4th of July found us in Georgia. It was desert hot today, and I chose to lounge on the bus hoping to work on some songs I had in my head the last couple of days. Maddie, agreeing it was 'completely unbearable' outside accompanied me. She sat across from me staring down at "101 Things To Know Before Becoming A Father". She had discovered it in one of my clothes piles and insisted on reading it since I had 'obviously thrown it aside like a piece of trash'. I had just apologized, and she gave me her usual mother stare and took it without another word.

I strummed a lazy chord wondering why my brain chose not to function when I demanded it to. Two days ago I would be spitting out melodies like a juke box but now, when I actually had time to do it, my head was elsewhere.

"It's too bad you aren't reading this," Maddie said breaking the calm silence. "There are many good tips. Like this one...," she said raising her voice. "number fifty, any preparation now is time saved later."

I sighed seeing her eyes travel towards mine. "I had been reading it," I confessed truthfully. "I've just been busy lately."

Maddie gave an 'ok', though I saw the disbelief in her non-verbals. "You know," Maddie said after a moment of silence. "It's weird how the fourth of July changes as you get older."

"What do you mean?" I responded strumming another chord out of habit.

"Well," she said laying aside the book and focusing on me. "When I was a kid, I would get so excited for the fourth of July because I knew that meant my whole family would get together, and we'd shoot of fireworks. My sister and I would sit with my mom while my dad shot off firework after firework." She stopped here and gave a small laugh. "Actually there were these fireworks that shot off parachutes, and my sister and I would run all over our yard looking for these stupid parachutes that I insisted on keeping every year. I don't know why I would. They were all burnt and smelled like smoke."

I laughed too thinking of her packing away these cheaply made parachutes. "I know what you mean," I said. "When I was a kid, it was sparklers. I couldn't get enough of them. I would light one up and run around my house as many times as I could until it burnt out. Then I would just do it again." I laughed remembering my constant energy level as a kid. "I guess it'd look kind of silly if I did that now."

Maddie gave a laugh and then let it die. "Yeah, fourth of July just isn't that much fun if there aren't kids around."

I don't know if she knew it, but when she said those words her hand fell down to rest on her stomach. It gracefully cupped the mound that almost went unnoticed if not mentioned in a conversation. I felt my body become uneasy as the unspoken words of 'that will change' traveled through our minds.

Before I registered her body movements any more she was up and occupying the seat next to me. The scent of oranges surrounded me as her delicate hands reached for my guitar. With her eyes never leaving mine, she removed the guitar from my lap and laid it aside. Her hands appeared again. This time they found my face and were guiding me towards her. I believe a 'wha...' started to escape my lips before they connected with hers.

My body fell into her.

I couldn't control my goose bumps as my hands took a mind of their own. They placed themselves on her back while delicately tracing her spine. Then they moved up to her shoulders grazing them. They finally moved down over her breasts feeling them without shame. She gave a small moan in my mouth, and I smiled. My hands finally dropped but not before hitting her enlarged stomach. That's when it stopped.

I pulled away frightened for reasons I wouldn't know until I actually had my third child. Breathing hard she looked at me and smiled.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Um...," I stumbled over words learned in the first grade. "I...I need to, uh, go." I said finding my footing and getting up.

Maddie looked at me her smile fading and a confused look surfacing.

"I just remembered, I need to...do stuff," I said walking backwards towards the bus doors. I stopped only when I clumsily hit the table with my shin. I ricocheted off of it like a pin ball and continued my path in the other direction. "I'll talk to you later," I said forcing a fake smile.

"Patrick," she said finally getting up. "You're acting weird again."

"Yeah, sorry," I simply said before making a straight way down the steps and out the door. The last thing I saw was Maddie looking like myself when I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Maybe I needed to talk to Joe again about this friend thing (and watch that movie again).

......

I squinted as the sun tortured me with its brightness. I stood with my guitar strapped on ready to play in any minute. The sounds of Simple Plan were playing in the distant, but my brain did the best it could to tone them out. Pete, Joe, and Andy were standing around me each of their eyes focused on mine with intensity and interest. I guess the story I had just told them was too much for them to process in a minute....now two minutes. Their eyes were starting to make me uncomfortable.

"Patrick, are you crazy?" Pete said finally.

I was starting to ask myself that question. I had chosen, against any rational thinking, to tell the guys about what happened between Maddie and I on the bus the other day. "Joe told me it would be best," I tried to defend myself.

"Best for who? You or her?" Pete said stepping closer. "Cause what I see is you're both losing."

I didn't know I was playing a game.

"Look Pete," Joe said. "I think this will be good for Patrick. It's building an emotional, not just a physical relationship. Have you forgotten? They will be in each other lives for a minimum of 18 years."

I uncontrollably shuddered. Of course, I had recognized this fact before, but hearing Joe say it, once again, made my situation too real.

"Well from what I see physical is an emotional relationship to all girls, and no offense Joe, but you're starting to sound like one."

"How is that no offense? That's like offense times two."

"That's why I said no offense."

"Just 'cause you said no offense doesn't mean I don't take offense."

Pete looked away from Joe and pointed over to Andy. "What do you think Andy you've been with Holly for a while now, should any couple abstain from sex?"

"Well," Andy said tapping his drumsticks on a nearby amp. "I think it will only work if both Patrick and Maddie agree to it."

"See," Pete said turning back to Joe. "You were wrong Joe. Patrick, go have sex with Maddie."

"Wait Patrick," Joe said holding up a hand to me as if I had actually made a move to jump on Maddie. "I still think I'm right. How is Patrick going to be able to function in a normal way around Maddie if all they ever do is have sex?"

"I don't know," Pete responded. "just have sex all the time."

I had heard enough around the time Pete had said sex, but now it just needed to stop. "Guys stop," I said breaking the feud that was arising. "I guess I'll just figure it out." Pete and Joe both gave me a look that said 'agree with me', but I didn't have time to 'figure it out' because Bob was ushering us onto the stage. It was time for another show. My other life would have to wait.