Jonathan brandis imagine book

Deathbed

TRIGGER WARNINGS: SUICIDE 

"Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed

I'll make a cup of coffee for your head

I'll get you up and going out of bed"

I cast over him like a shadow waiting to be seen for the past two years since the incident. A cup of his usual coffee that was waiting for him ready to go!

I saw how he had tear marks down his cheeks still crying thinking it was his fault for not noticing the red flags that I hid on purpose, but it wasn't, it was her who got in the way.

As I was going to put my hand on his forehead he woke up and slowly walked past me, not noticing I was there.

"Yeah I don't wanna fall asleep, I wanna pass away

I been thinking of our future, 'cause I'll never see those days"

start of flashback

I smiled as it was time for him to come home and sit for dinner and our movie time, but I noticed his attention was being driven away from me onto someone else.

I tried to talk to him about it but it seemed like what I was saying was going through one ear and out the other. All he would do is yell at me if I tried to bring it up but tonight is our third anniversary and I got a surprise that I hope he liked.

I heard the door opening but I didn't like what I was hearing as I was gathering what he was doing. I assumed he was on the phone with his friend talking about me.

"yeah she didn't find out that I was messing around with my assistant at the job, she is so delusional she doesn't see it at all and it has been going on for 6 months."

'6 months? But that's when he said he was getting a project done with his team and he would be late how could I not notice this' I thought feeling a slight burn in my eyes that was telling me I was about to start tearing up

"Well yeah, I am not going to tell her she cooks and cleans so what more can you want? Anyway, I got to go see you on set bye," he said ending the phone call hanging his coat up on the hanger.

(y/n) I'm home! I felt so disgusted to my soul now comprehending what he kept from me and that he didn't want me or loved me at all. He only wants to be with me because I cook and clean, I didn't even get to tell him about the surprise.... yet looking down tearfully

Weeks pass

I couldn't take it anymore and the baby inside of me passed anyway due to all the stress I carried. I decided to get away from everything since I didn't have anyone, my family didn't want anything to do with me. The people whom I 'thought' I could call my friends all use me for what I possess.

I would say I have Jonathan but that's not true he uses me too so journal this is my final day writing to you.

July 6, 2000

2:19 Am

*TRIGGER WARNING SUICIDE*

I walked into the bathroom sobbing, turning on the bathroom light then closing and locking the door knowing that he would be home in 1 hour, which gave me enough time to do what I needed to do.

I open the cabinet door grab the pills that were hidden in the back from him and slide my body under the water until only my neck shows grabbing the razor.

I took as many pills as I could then I cut both of my wrists as deep as I could with my shaking hands knowing this was the last bit of strength that I had. By the time I finished, my blood was turning the clear water blood red. The effects of the pills slowly started to kick in as I slowly closed my eyes tilting my head back against the head of the tub hard taking my final and last breath that my heart could handle.

1 hour later

Jonathan Pov

I unlocked the door, not smelling any food or cleaning products or hearing any greeting as I usually did when I walked in.

I shrugged, took off my jacket hung it on the coat hanger then started to call y/n's name, but she didn't answer which is unusual as well because she would respond.

I open our bedroom door I share with her since I need to get something out of the bathroom as I walk to the bathroom door

I saw the light on, and I tried to knock but there was no answer.

I tried to open it but it was locked so I started to speak trying to y/n to unlock it but there was no luck so I hit my shoulder with it three times before it slammed open.

Showing me y/n's bloody body in a bathtub with an empty bottle of pills beside her I tried to shake her but my mind immediately thought it was a joke except it wasn't and I started to tear up.

I started checking for a pulse, but I didn't find one as I sat there thinking 'how long has she been there'

I then snapped out of it calling 911 and they came asking me questions, I answered them and went to the hospital, waiting for them to tell me if there was any more news.

A doctor then came up to me 'You must be Mr. Brandis? I have some bad news unfortunately we could not save her she was sadly long gone before she was brought here and one more thing, she was 3 months old, but she had a miscarriage from what seemed like stress i am sorry for your loss Mr. Brandis' he walks away

And that's when my whole world fell apart, and my life was never the same

flashback over

"I don't know why this has happened but I probably deserve it

I tried to do my best, but you know that I'm not perfect"

Y/n POV

He knows why I did why I did, he found my diary and read it seeing how much pain and stress I was in.

I know he is trying his best and hardest and that's all I ask but he needs to let me go he has suffered enough, And I won't let him kill himself like I did even though he did hurt me I wish him the best.

I kissed his forehead before dissolving in a blue glowing light

1,118 words