Fool's Paradise

Chapter 6

I can see him. He's right there with my reflection in the mirror. Standing right behind me. Instead of screaming, I just froze. I can't move and I'm too mortified to turn around.

Martin is standing right there. Not a cut on his face. He looks just as handsome as before he died. He was sporting a white sweater with even whiter jeans. Oh fuck, this means something, doesn't it?

"Martin."

"Martin," he mocks, mimicking my surprised tone. "Why are you still here? Did you not hear me at all?"

"I..." I'm at a loss for words. I don't understand and I'm scared as fuck. Is he alive? He looks alive.

"It's fine. It's not like you listen to me anyway." His voice is monotone but held hints of sarcasm in it, almost coated in arrogance. That's so like him and he's right. I rarely ever listened to him. I would've always done whatever I wanted and he would always be there to laugh at me when I screwed up and then help me after. He paces around the bathroom behind me, as if he was on a field trip. I don't dare move from my spot, but my eyes followed him in the mirror.

"This place is filthy," he says with a disgusted look on his face. Then he looks me up and down, giving me a sly smirk. He says nothing, but his face screams, you look filthier. That cocky bastard... He was always such a clean freak. I can't help but bite back my smile. This is not the time... He feels so alive...

"Are you alive?" I finally say my voice hoarse from crying before. His smirk drops instantly and the air around me turns cold. I could feel a brush of cool air against the shell of my ear. "I-I thought you were dead."

"Aw, is that what you were hoping for?" He says coldly. I was confused. All I did was ask a question.

"Anyways, I would suggest that you get your act together before they put you in a cage." He continued. "You can only be so crazy until they give up on you. Is that what you want, Morin? To be put in a cage? To be crazy?"

I blink at his casualness. It seemed like only a few hours ago that I was staring down at his dead body. Now, here he is, acting cold and talking to me as if I'm a complete stranger. What the hell? I can't say anything back. I don't know what to say. I just stare at him through the mirror. I don't even know what he's talking about. 

"Of course you don't know. You don't even know what you want," he kept on kicking the rubble and scattered toilet paper around the bathroom floor. Wiping his index finger upon surfaces from time to time, examining how dirty it was. "You are living in confusion right now, a blind sheep in a pack heading towards the cliff. How long will you let yourself be this ignorant? What must happen to make you realize the person you are?"

Damn. This arrogant Martin is more dramatic than he is annoying.

He chuckles. "Right, it has already happened."

I didn't even realize how far he walking. He figure was getting smaller, but the size of the room hadn't changed. I could barely see him anymore.

"Well, best of luck, Morin." With that, he vanished.

I pause for a moment. Trying to process everything that happened. I slump to my knees sitting on the dirty floor. I don't get it. I don't get it, and I never got to ask him why I couldn't go see Theo.

"Martin." I call out in hopes for a reply.

No answer.

"Martin!"

Nothing.

I get to my feet, feeling anxious all over again for the thousandth time. I start screaming his name repeatedly. Over and over. I pound on the walls.

"Martin! Please! I- I don't know! I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Martin! Martin! Please!"

I keep screaming for Martin for what seem like an hour. By then I had already cried two more times. My hands are tinted with grime and smut, some small scrapes as well if you look close enough. Out of breath, I walk back over to the sink to wash my hands. Closing the tap, I drag myself to the opposite side of the room, I turn to lay my back against the cold walls of the filthy washroom and close my eyes for a moment. I let myself sink to the ground once again.

I don't want to live anymore.