Fool's Paradise

Chapter 8

The voice made me freeze in my tracks.

"Mommy? Let's go!" Theo said cheerfully.

I pause for a moment, looking at the gate. "Theo, I can't go with you."

"Why not?"

"I..." I lost my train of thought... Something is wrong...

Theo stomps over to the wooden bench that perched off to the left side of the white gate. He sat upright on the bench for a moment, but then began to slump. Sliding his bum to the edge of the seat, leaning back and resting his chin on his chest. He looks like he's about to cry.

"Why can't you come with me?" he says weakly, almost in a begging tone. "You love gardens," he sniffles. "You always say how you want a garden."

He buried his face in his arms. "I thought you said you liked it."

"Of course I like gardens, I love this garden." I say, trying to comfort him. "But..."

But what? I don't know, but I can feel it.

Something is wrong.

Theo pounced off the fence and takes hold of me, burying his face on my side. He wraps his arms around my thighs, gripping on the gathering of my skirt with his tiny fingers.

"You can come with me and I can show you all the gardens in the world. We can see all the gardens! You just have to come with me!" He looks up, resting his chin on me, desperately but gently tugging on my arm.

Something is wrong. Oh god.

Something is seriously wrong.

"Theo, where are we going?" I ask, shivers running down my spine. Suddenly the garden now seemed less appealing to me.

Dr. Conam's face flashed in my eyes and the faces of the other doctors started coming back to me. I feel Theo calling to me, tugging on my skirt. Pulling and begging me to go with him.

"Mommy. Mommy, please! Let's go!" Theo was getting frantic.

"Morin, don't listen to him."

Martin...

"Stop it!" Theo shrieks, making me jump. "We can go together!" he cries out, with tears in his eyes.

"Morin, do not go with him," says Martin's voice sternly. "Don't listen to him."

I decide to trust Martin. I felt uneasy going near the gate. It didn't feel right to me.

"Theo, I'm so sorry, I can't go with you." I say cupping one of his cheeks in my hand. "It's not right for me."

He sniffles. After a long pause, he says weakly, "You love gardens..."

I stand on my knees to match his height. Cupping his face with both hands now. "I love you more," I declare softly, wiping his tears with my thumb. I felt the need to tell him.

"But you love gardens."

"But I love you more," I remind him, planting a kiss on his forehead.

He looked down. I couldn't tell if he was mad at me or not. I brush the bangs from his eyes gently pulling his head back up to face me again. "There will never be a second where I won't love you. Remember that, okay Theo?"

His honey colored eyes look exhausted. He leans into me, resting his head on my shoulder. I pull him on my lap and we stay like for a while and I engulf him into a hug, not ever wanting to let him go...

After exhaling a deep sigh, Theo pulls away from me. Still sitting on my lap, he looks straight ahead. "It was a tall man with red hair," he says suddenly. His voice was empty. "Red hair, and scar on his nose," he touched his nose, showing me where exactly the scar was.

I was confused with where he was going with this.

"You should get him."

"What?" Who is he?

"If you won't come with me, get him instead. Red hair with a scar on his nose. I don't like him. Everybody doesn't like him. They say he's a no good bully. You should get him, Mommy."

I don't get it. Who is he talking about? Whom does he want me to get? Who is they?

He stands up, completely composed. "I'm sorry, I have to go if you won't come with me," he glances at the garden. "I did everything I could."

He heads toward the white gate and opens it. I want to stand up and see him through, but I can't bring myself to.

He hesitates for a moment, something holding him back. Finally, he turns to face me one last time.

"Theo loves you too."

He smiles and turns once again, walking though the gate. Vanishing into the light.

I caught a glimpse of what I thought were wings...