Thank you for saving me

Chapter 2: deal with it

Sam helped me into my house as I wobbled up the steps to the front door.
"I'll leave your car, it's barley dark I can walk from here. Call me if you need anything." Sam said
It took a few times but I got my key in the door.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked
"Go home Sam," I said hugging her,"I'll be fine." She nodded then I went into my house.
I was so dizzy. Not only from the fall but from everything going on in my mind. I walked in my house and headed for the stairs.
"Madison? Is that you?" My dad was in the kitchen. I turned and rubbed my head.
"Hey" I barley said.
"Come over here for a minute." I gestured my over. I walked through the living room to the kitchen.
"It's only 9, your home a little early." I was planning on tell him. Maybe not. I'm not sure but if I was it wouldn't be right now.
"It, um, was kinda lame so we ditched." That sounded like complete bull. But what ever it'd explain tomorrow. So I gave him a smile he returned it then turned around and headed for the stairs yet again.
"I think you're lying Maddie." Shit.
"Wh- Why?" I forced a smile.
"Well I think you're drunk. I think you got to drunk to handle and they sent you home with someone."
"Dad-" i started but he cut my off.
"Or did you drive your self?" He asked
"Sam did, but dad listen," I felt sick like I just might vomit.
"No you listen to me. That Alex kid is becoming a bad influence on you and I don't like it."
"It's not like that," I felt even more nauseous at the mensch of his name.
"No I'll tell you what it's like," he started but I felt so... Oh my god...I'm gonna puke. I leaned forward and threw up right there in the middle of the living room. I lifted my head and started to cry. I stepped over the vomit and into my daddy's arms. I wanted it to go away. I wanted to be 5 again. I wanted, my mom. And my dad. I wanted them both to hold me and tell me everything will be fine in a few days and I shouldn't worry but that couldn't happen.
"Dad he hit me." I cried.
"Who hit you?" He asked
"Alex. He was cheating so I told him I knew and he...hit me" I pulled the band aid and moved my long pony tail away from my blood stained clothes to show him the bruise and cut from where his championship ring met my face. He gasp.
"I'm going to kill that asshole."
"Dad," I wiped my tears, "it's fine, please don't make it worse." I really didn't want my dad to go break a kids neck. That would only send things completely into a whirl spin of fuck ups.
"Maddie, I have to do something here I can't just let him get away with this."
"I just don't want you to make things worse okay. I love you and I will never talk to that ass again, can I just go lye down now?" He looked at my head again.
"I'll clean this up dont worry. Go up stairs and I'll bring you some Advil and ice, okay?"
"Okay."
"Tomorrow we are talking about this."
I nodded turned around stepping over my vomit and walked up the stairs then into my room. I changed into pajama shorts and a tank top. Dad brought everything up to take care of my head a little while later. I didn't know what I was going to say to Alex or if I even was gonna talk to him. But it was all to much to think about now all I could do was sleep and that's what I did.

The next morning I woke up to a head free of pain. It was the first morning in a while that I didn't wake up to a text from Alex. There was a small knock on my door.
"Come in." I said
Cilla. I didn't want her to see me like this. I started to cry. She came up on my bed and hugged me so tight. Sometimes I need a mom. She's there for me just like I'm there for her.
"Maddie I herd you and dad last night." She said
"You were up?"
"Maddie it was like 9 o'clock." I laughed a little. And wiped my tears.
"I hate him more then anything else in the world but it's like I miss the things he did to show he cared. But I don't think he ever did care. But you wouldn't get it." She pulled up from the hug.
"Maddie I completely get it." She said with a nod
"You've never been heart broken before." She smirked
"Yes I have." I gave her a look.
"Mom." I did everything with my mother. She was 3 when my mother passed. Cilla never could experience the things that I did with my mother and I understood how she related my situation to hers. My heart smashed into a million pieces at that point. I hugged her so tight.
"Sweetie I know exactly what you mean."
"You smell like vomit." She said with a laugh.
"Lemme go take a shower and we can go school shopping. Riley and Kaylen can come too." Kaylen was Riley's little sister. Her and Cilla are the same age. Normally I'd invite Sam but her brothers a freshmen and today is the orientation and she has to go with him. Cilla smiled and nodded and left my room. I took a quick shower. I thought of everything while the water hit my cut stinging a little. I got the blood out of my dirty blonde hair and couldn't help but think about what happened. I played it over and over in my mind. Me getting hit. Alex getting hit. I took a deep breath in and out. A cleansing breath. I tried to erase the pain for now, the pain that had moved from my head to my heart. I got out of the shower and towel dried my hair. Naturally it's curly, but after straightening it all the time it lost it's "flare" and now my hair just a slight wavy to it. It was annoyingly long but I would never think of cutting it. I walked over to my dresser and grabbed light navy blue sweat shorts from Hollister and a white tank. Nothing special. I could care less about my hair so I just fixed my part and left it to dry. I didn't bother putting in my contacts either so I rummaged through my junk draw for my glasses. They were those hipster ray-band ones, all black with this clear part to it. I got them freshman year but then one day I really stared at my self in the glasses. My mom had glasses just like these. I looked so much like her in my glasses. I remember how excited I would get when people would tell me that. I remember why I stopped wearing them.
<~~>
"Don't you think you look hotter yah know with out them?" Alex asked me one day when we first started going out.
"Well maybe, why do you not like them?"I took them off. Placing them on my lap. He smiled at my face and kissed my forehead.
"Maybe I'll get contacts." I said
"Yah contacts." He replied then kissed me.
<~~>
I would do anything to please him. How fricken stupid.
"Madison! Are you ready yet?" Cilla asked barging in as usual.
I wiped my tears and my nose.
"Knock. And yeah one sec." I walked back into my bathroom splashed some cold water on my face and reapplied my mascara.
"Let's go!" I said with a plastic smile. We walked down the steps and out the door to the car. She headed for the front seat.
"Riley gets front." I said
"Since when?" She asked.
"Since forever now get in the back." She rolled her eyes and got in the back seat.
***********************************************
We picked up Riley and Kaylen and were at the mall. We let Kaylen and Cilla run off by them selves, with the promise to text us every once and a while.
So we were shopping in Hollister.
"Have you talked to Hayes?" Riley asked
"Hayes Grier? No." I said as I picked up a sweater.
"You should." Was she kidding? Her intentions were good but I literally feel like shit with this Alex thing.
"Why?"
"I mean if a guy came to my rescue like that I would totally go after him."
Is she serious?
"Hayes Grier. The one we've known since before we even knew Sam? That's basically our who lives." I said
"So what wrong with that?" She replied
"I've only seen him as a friend." I said moving through racks and deeper into the store.
"But he's really hot Maddie." She said in a over dramatic way.
"I'm just not ready for that okay? So can we talk about anything else. Please." That came out so bitchy.
"Alright."
"Look I'm sorry okay but things with me and Alex are just a mess right now and" I paused. As always she's right. There is nothing with us. There is no us it's just me and somewhere far far down the line is, the ever so shitty, Alex.
"There is no more me and Alex is there?" I looked at Riley
"No sweetie I'm sorry." She opened her arms and wrapped them around me. Nothingness. That's what I felt. I couldn't feel her love. As if there was no such thing as it. My mom told me, " love is like the wind You can't see it But you can feel it." But I feel nothing. And I see a friend trying to help. But nothing.
That day in the mall passed and all of the sudden I was at home in my room. It was 9:30. I had just gotten out of the shower and was blowing out my hair. Tomorrow was school. I would see everyone. Including Alex and Hayes. To much to handle so I had to stop thinking about it. After my hair was dried I crawled underneath my covers into my safe haven and fell asleep.