Request: can you do a song preference to Photograph by Ed Sheeran with Luke please.
loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it’s the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive
"hey" I said softly as he came into the kitchen where I was sitting waiting for him like I alway did.
"hi" he replied back monotone
"how was your day?" I asked wanting to start a conversation with him.
"good, but i’m tired so i’m just going to go to bed" he said just like he had everyday in the past weeks.
"oh. okay" I said blandly but he took no notice of me walking sraight past me and up the stairs of our shared apartment. Things hadn’t been the same recenlty, I had no idea but he started going out later or working later not coming back for hours at a time and leaving me to wait around for him.
Maybe I had done something wrong, he would hardly look at me, it was as if my presence was annoying him and that he was starting to hate me. Maybe he was cheating on me… he could be feeling guilty and be ignoring me…
No he wouldn’t do that, he would never do that to anyone, he was to nice for that. Well thats what I thought anyway. Maybe he did have it in him to cheat, but I must have done something to lead him to that.
I sighed into the silent house and decided that now he wasvback I had no reason to stay up and wait for him and should probably go to sleep now, it is around 2am.
I turned off the TV, locked the front and back doors and made my way upstairs doing my nightly routine off brushing my teeth and washing my face before looking over to his sleeping form that was as far away as possible from my side of the bed as if I was contagious or something.
A few tears had found their way into my eyes and I sniffed quickly wiping them quickly even though there was no one who would have seen them.
I climbed to my side of the bed making sure not to wake him up or disturb his sleep. I checked my phone quickly for any mssages seeing I had none before placing it back down on my bedside table.
We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time’s forever frozen still
My eyes caught the photo frame on the side of my bedside table, which brought more silent tears to my eyes, they were uncontrolable and I started to think back to that day.
It was a perfect day, the picture was taken by one of the other boys, we were both laughing while looking at each other with such love. It was taken last summer when we all went on a summer road trip around a the states of America, we had stumbled upon a cliff diving lake and spent hours there.
I smiled remembering how happy I was back then. We had such a good relationship, what happened to that.
So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer ‘til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home
No matter what happened I would never forget that summer, it was the summer where he asked me to move in with him when we got back from the road trip, he told me he had never loved someone so much and that he was really happy he had found me, and ofcourse I old him the same. I have honestly never loved someone as much as him, he means everything, I couldn’t stand the thought ofnot being with him, but right now he’s being so distant it killing me. Maybe I should ask the other boys if they know anything.
I just didn’t want to be alone, but lying right next to him was making me feel so alone, he didn’t hold me when he slept like he used to, I would normally find myself wrapped in his arms and his face burried in my shoulder when I woke up. But that doesn’t happen any more, he’s drifting apart and there’s no way I can stop him.
And if you hurt me
That’s okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go
Wait for me to come home
He had come back at 10 today, earlier than normal which took me by surprise, yet he didn’t say much.
"hey, is there any food left?" he asked quietly.
"uh… yeah, i-in the fridge" I replied quietly casting my eyes down to the floor.
"thanks" he mumbled going to the fridge.
I decided I would just go to bed now, it was too… uncomfortable.
"where are you going?" he asked quickly which made me jump and turn around.
we made eye contact for the first time in a few weeks, but I looked away after a few seconds. ” just to bed, i’m a bit tired” I said quietly.
"oh, okay" he said turning back round, I heard him sigh before leaving to go to bed.
I managed to lay in bed for a few hours thinking about what went wrong along the way and thinking back to the good times we had. I closed my eyes quickly and pulled the cover up to my neck rolling onto my side of the bed and moving as far away from his side so I didn’t annoy him or anything. I pretended to be asleep to avoid any awkward conversation there could posibly be; it was better that way.
I heard him moving around the room getting ready for bed, his footsteps stopped and I heard him sigh deeply before a weight was added onto the bed where he had either sat or layed down on his side.
He shuffled around for moment and it felt like he was hesitating to move closer. The covers were pulled gently from where they were pulled right up to my face, his legs tangled with mine, warm against my cold skin, his breath ticked my neck as his arm wrapped around my waist from behind pulling me close to him so I was pressed against his chest. I accidently stiffened, wondering why he had suddenly decided to come near me for the first time in weeks.
"you awake?" he whispered but I didn’t respond, wanting him to think I was still asleep, he would probably change his mind again and I didn’t want to be tricked into believing everything was suddenly alright. It wasn’t.
He sighed again but this time it was so close to my skin that shivers ran down my spin.
"i’m sorry" he whispered holding me closer.
