Ian isn't looking for trouble, so when he wakes up in a hospital unaware of what has happened to him, he refuses to find out the truth. Why would he want to remember something that might be too much to handle? The past is the past, isn't it?
But the...
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July 6, 09:47 AM
The official police statement is that I was found brutally beaten in a narrow alley near the movie theater I was supposed to be at around that time.
THE THINGS I KNOW:
1. The movie was to start at 7 PM
2. Complete blackout
3. I was found at 11:40 by a woman, who when calling 911 reported she had found a dead body because according to her I wasn't breathing and my body parts were not really where they should be, but thank God the paramedics who rushed to the place didn't entirely believe her judgments. It turned out that she didn't even get close to me because she was too scared, and from a distance, I looked much worse than I did in reality.
4. The police later found out by looking into the security cameras that I wasn't present at the movie theater that night.
5. The police are annoyed because they don't believe in my memory loss and think I just don't want to tell them where I went that evening.
6.My parents don't believe me either. They asked me about a thousand times now why did I lie to them about going to the movies. Well, we don't know if I lied to you, do we? To confirm that, I would have to KNOW that, and I DON'T KNOW that. Thanks for being supportive and not making me feel guilty.
It's ridiculous to talk about. It's ridiculous to even write about. But it is true, I did travel back in time. I keep having flashbacks of a teenage girl yelling at me that if I don't do anything it will be my fault and that I need to go back to the day that it happened. But WHAT happened? I think her name was Nora? It all feels like a memory long forgotten.
I've been avoiding thinking about it because every time I do my stomach drops. I don't want to get involved, I don't care. Why should I? It's not my fault I don't remember. I want to be a dentist, not a detective. And I'm not a kid anymore who's excited to run around the city solving mysteries. I don't care about what happened to me. I'm fine! Stuff happens, let me move on.
11:30 AM
I asked a nurse if she could give me some more painkillers today because I couldn't bare staying in bed for another day. She said "No problem", but I'm pretty sure she gave me some sugar-filled pills since I don't feel any better. Nice try, lady!
Apparently, I'm the only one who didn't know this place had a cafeteria downstairs because when I went there people were having a legit breakfast party. It was too loud, so I ordered a coffee to go and took off immediately. Where do all those people get their energy from so early in the morning? Oh, coffee, probably. Nevermind. I went to the mini-park instead. Nice benches, nice grass, nice... fence? Yeah, I don't have anything to say about this park. It's nice cause it's at the back of the hospital, so you can't really hear any cars driving by. Yeah, that's what I call a smart design, that's it, right there.
I haven't heard from Bobbie and Nicole for seven days now. They went camping on some kind of meditation program that Bobbie was really excited to go to and he tried everything to make us go with him. I don't know how he managed to bribe Nicole into this, but there just wasn't a chance that I'd spent a whole week without my phone or Internet whatsoever. So maybe that's just karma that got me beaten for turning my back on a friend. Nah, I'd probably ruin the experience for Bobbie with my moodiness anyway. I like to think that I'm letting them gather their energy back that they lose by putting up with me. It's a good thing. I'm a good friend.
They should be back by 7 PM. Today. They don't know what's happened. I mean, me neither, but I need to give them some kind of explanation. Do I prepare them first, somehow? Do I text them what happened, or do I wait till I'm back home tomorrow and we see each other in person? Do they want me to wait, or are they going to be angry that I didn't want them to visit me here? Because I think I don't. It's depressing in here. People get triggered by hospitals. They get all miserable, it gets awkward, they don't know what to say because they feel the need to feel sorry for everybody. And I don't want to be felt sorry for. I'm fine.
Telling them that I had a car crash crosses my mind for a second. That way I would skip the uncomfortable part of losing my memory and they could tell me all about their boring trip, that I'm actually weirdly keen on hearing. I kind of miss interacting with people. I know I always say that I love being alone, and I still stand by it. I recharge by being alone. But let me tell you, this place has recharged me pretty quickly. Or has it completely drained me and it's not the lack of interaction itself that I miss, but just the lack of interaction with healthy people? Yeah, I can't tell.
3:10 PM
Nathaniel, buddy, my hospital bestie, did they treat you good today? Are you comfy, do you need me to adjust your pillow? Here, let me... Better? Yeah, it is. Sorry I haven't been around that much this morning, but do you remember when I told you that I wanted to explore this hospital some more before I leave? Yeah, and I'm leaving tomorrow morning, so, today had to be the day. Did you know there's a mini-park at the back? And somewhere above us, there's also have a mini-church. And when I say church I mean a room with a hanging crucifix on the wall. I' haven't found any mini-synagogues or mini-mosques, though. Are you religious? Probably not. But how do you feel about Christmas?
Oh yeah, I talk to him like that. I just googled how likely is it for an unconscious person to hear me, and it said there's a 25% chance. I'm doomed. I must look like Kathy Bates in "Misery" to him now that I think about it. When you wake up and you want to fill a lawsuit against me... I'll be waiting.
I was out of bed for 4,5 hours and I'm completely exhausted. Is that how elderly people feel all the time? I hope not. I was planning on being an active senior. That's how I see myself in 50 years. Hiking, biking, maybe even running. I'd be the coolest grandpa.
8:30 PM
I just took a 3-hour nap. Great, good luck falling asleep tonight. I'm looking around the room to see if I have to start packing today, but I guess I don't have that many things here with me anyway, so, I'll leave it for tomorrow. My mom is picking me up at 11 AM so I'll have plenty of time to do it. If my last morning blood test results are all good that is, but I'm sure they will be.
I just got a text from Bobbie. Here's the screenshot:
BOBBIE: Guess who's back! Come over and don't forget to bring your PJs. I promise I won't be boring you with any meditation stories. Nicole said she won't be attending my Sleepover Night because apparently, she's tired of sleeping with me.
ME (wanting to sound neutral): Sounds great, but I can't. See you tomorrow?
BOBBIE: What's wrong?
God, he's annoying. Of course he knows there's something wrong.
ME (trying to keep it real but not reveal where I am so that he doesn't get a wrong impression and think that I'm dying): Nothing serious, stop worrying. I'm free after 12, you down?
BOBBIE (thinking I need a lecture from him): Every time you have a problem you stop talking to me? Have you noticed? You avoid me until you solve it alone and you're able to just tell me all about it afterward. Include me in the story sometimes.
But yes, I'm down, after 12 it is.
Yes, I have noticed. And I wouldn't include him this time either, but since the story of why I woke up in the hospital isn't over yet, I kind of have to include him, don't I? I don't want them to make a big deal out of it and I know they will. It's not THAT serious. I'm fine!
