[3] MARANELLO || C. LECLERC

TWENTY SIX

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CAMILLE

Vietnam was great. I was so excited to visit a new part of the world, somewhere I'd never explored before and to do that with my best friends beside me made it so much better. My collection released at midnight on the day of the race and like the ones beforehand, it was successful. So many people were falling in love with my designs just as much as I had whilst I was creating them. The race itself, even though it was filled with action from start to finish, wasn't as great as Australia and Bahrain for Charles. He finished in third, meaning he still grasped his well deserved spot on the podium, but he scored less points than he expected. Ferrari still dominated the podium, with Sebastian taking second and they were still at the top of the Constructors' Championship.

We were in Monaco again and we returned home yesterday morning. I loved being able to come back here between races, if Charles didn't need to be in Italy. Recently, he was free from commitments in Maranello, which I found rather unusual, but I believed that Ferrari were working harder at actual race weekends, having longer post-race debriefs and meetings, so he had more time to train at home. I was pleased because the time we spent at home was refreshing. It put Charles in a better position mentally. He was more prepared to fight during races. With his P3 finish in Vietnam, he needed some time to refresh because I could tell he wasn't satisfied with his race. It was difficult to tell him that he was still amazing when his mentality was completely focused on winning. Yet, I couldn't blame him; he'd worked his entire life for this.

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Our bedroom was totally consumed by darkness and I should have found it easy to fall asleep. Charles was snoring lightly beside me, his face buried into his pillow and his arms above his head. His position, despite being a particularly strange one, looked rather comfortable and I was jealous. My mind was too busy for me to be able to settle. After pondering on it all weekend, I knew that I needed to tell Charles about Stoffel. I was so scared of his reaction, almost certain that our engagement would end so abruptly because I'd kept this from him for so long. I was the only person to blame. I regretted not being honest with him from the start.

I turned my head so that my cheek was now resting on the soft pillow. I was so engrossed in how peaceful my fiancé looked whilst he was sleeping. His hair was messily covering his eyes whilst his lips were softly parted, careful breaths tumbling from them as he exhaled. He was so beautiful and I was simply obsessed with him. I loved Charles more than I could put into words and it hurt knowing that everything I'd not told him was because of my selfish judgement. I thought we would be better off as a couple if I just tried to forget about my past and not mention it. Even though it worked until now, it was still the wrong choice to make. I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep until I'd admitted it. Even if it broke his heart, he needed to know and he needed to know now. Our relationship was never perfect, but we were happy, although I'd always been the one who was keeping everything hidden. I barely had a reason for it, apart from the fear of being judged. God, I'd messed everything up. All of this worry was only self inflicted.

"Charles," I regretted my movement as soon as I placed my hand on his shoulder, but this couldn't wait any longer. Carefully, I shook his shoulders, hoping it would be enough to wake him, but he only muttered and tried to roll over. "Charles, wake up."

With a sudden breath, he almost jumped out of his skin when he realised that I was shaking his body in an attempt to get his attention. He sat up quickly, almost in shock and he quickly rubbed his eyes before looking at me. I could see the worry plastered across his face. I felt awful already; I never wanted to scare him.