[3] MARANELLO || C. LECLERC

TWENTY SEVEN

* a lot happens in this chapter. i'm scared for your reaction. please let me know what you think! *

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CAMILLE

"Whatever, Charles," I sighed, rolling my eyes as I sat on the edge of our bed, glancing at my freshly shaven legs. I felt so lonely. "I'll just see you later."

He was always busy. I was always alone. Studio days were no more now that I was shooting pictures all over the world as part of Love, Camille. Of course, I had a few emails to read, post to collect, most of which consisted of new outfits to wear for shoots, and plenty to get on with, but I missed him. The man I fell in love with gave me every single second of his time, even though he was busy and had plenty of demands to fulfil. I didn't know that man anymore. He was never at home, always meeting someone from Ferrari in Monaco, for whatever reason, I didn't understand, nor did I know the name of the person he continued to meet. The only time we spent together was at night, when we slept. I missed him so much, from his touch to the soft sound of his voice.

I was more than supportive of Charles in his role at Ferrari. I wanted him to excel, to achieve everything he'd dreamed of whilst growing up, but I didn't think he would make any sacrifices involving me. He was always training with Andrea, or locked up in the spare room on the sim, or answering phone calls and reading through emails, constantly checking data and always online. I missed the man I fell in love with. All I wanted was one day. My whole life had always revolved around motorsport after growing up alongside Max. I was used to the pressures and the rituals which came along with the sport but not once did Max ever put racing before me to an extent like this. Maybe I was just selfish, but I only worried because this was the man I wanted to start a family with. If he wasn't going to be around as much as he could be, I didn't want to have a baby. I wouldn't be able to handle a baby alone.

"No, love-" before he could say anything else, I ended the call. Tears were prickling in the front of my tired eyes. All I wanted to do was sleep, but my mind was frantically filling with even more negative thoughts about my relationship with Charles. I adored him more than anything and our future seemed to be pretty set in stone. I didn't want to lose that. I didn't want to be with anyone else. I wanted to start a family with Charles, and only Charles. However, this past week, since arriving home from China one week ago, everything seemed to be going wrong.

We were leaving for the Netherlands on Wednesday, with plans to meet my parents in the evening for dinner before we all stayed in a hotel close to the track. Max was so excited to finally be able to drive at his home race and it felt overwhelming because I was so used to Belgium being our home weekend. To me, it still was, and I knew Max felt the same, but having a Dutch Grand Prix made things feel a little more real for him. It filled me with joy to see him so happy. All I wanted was for mine and Charles' problems to have been well and truly resolved by then, but it seemed rather unlikely considering it was Monday. We only had one day to make it right. Maybe I was overreacting, but my mama always told me never to disregard my feelings when I was growing up. If something hurt me, I had every right to express that. This was no different.

From my phone call with Charles, I gathered that he would be home 'soon'. I had no idea what the timescale on the word was anymore. I was tired of waiting around for him to come home just to indulge in his phone or laptop. I couldn't even cook dinner for us because he would've already eaten with Andrea, something he failed to tell me each day. Slowly, I was becoming his last priority and that really hurt.

I heard his keys in the lock of the front door and I jumped, not expecting him back this early. He would figure out exactly where I was when he realised the front room and kitchen were empty. I wanted to stay here, it was comfortable. I felt the nerves and anxiety rising through my veins as I thought about maybe confronting Charles and opening up to him. It was unfair that I kept all of my feelings bottled up because I was scared of confrontation. He deserved to know so we could talk about it and move on.