fighting for you •ricky/nini•

chapter 67

-General POV-

Ricky ran out of Nini's house with tears falling down his face. He got to his car, and viciously banged on the steering wheel. He loves that girl more than anything in this world. And he wants to be with her more than anything.

But he thought she trusted him. And he couldn't take the fact that she couldn't trust him with this. Whatever "this" is.

And the fact that she still didn't tell him after he told her that he would leave.

Is that what she wanted?

Did he not mean anything to her anymore?

Ricky couldn't get all of the negative things out of his head.

If only she just told him.

If only he felt like her not telling him, wasn't her saying that she didn't trust him with this, or that she didn't love him.

But instead he was driving home, soaked in his salty tears. The tears that he has only ever shed for Nini.

Well... and for his "mom" when she left him and his dad all those years ago.

-Nini's POV-

I'm so stupid!

Why couldn't I just tell him?

Why couldn't I just tell him everything that has been happening with me! Because then at least I would have been truthful to the boy I love. But instead I lost him anyway.

Fucking Jacob Witten!

But then again, what would Ricky have done if I told him?

Would he have walked out anyway? What would he do to Jacob? Would he be pissed at Big Red? Would he think that I'm disgusting now?

I don't know what I would do if he ever thought that about me.

Incoming Call
Big Red

Accept                Decline

Fuck.

How am I supposed to talk to anyone? I can't even stop crying enough to breathe!

I decided to just let it ring, but that didn't seem to matter because he called me again.

And again.

And again.

"Hello?" I finally whimpered as I answered the phone.

"Nini?" Big Red asked.

"Yea?" I replied, trying to hold back the tears falling down my face.

"Are you crying?" He asked. I nodded against the phone, but answered with a small yea when I realized that he can't actually see my face. "I'm on my way!" He said, before hanging up the phone.

-

After fifteen minutes I was still crying hysterically. But when I heard the knock on the front door, I ran down the stairs.

When the door swung open I saw Big Red standing there, with a purplish tint starting to form on his cheek.

What the hell happened in that hallway?

"Nini?" He asked, immediately stepping inside and bringing me into a hug as he saw my tears fall.

"I'm so stupid!" I cried into his shoulder.

"What happened? Where's Ricky?" He asked me, running circles around my back.

"He- he- he left." I stuttered, through the tears.

"What do you mean he left? Where did he go?" Big Red asked, grabbing me by the arms and stepping back while looking at me.

"I don't know! Probably home! But he's not here anymore because i'm such a fucking idiot." I cried harder.

"Just tell me, what happened Nini." He sighed. "What did he say when you told him what's been happening with Jacob?"

I bit down on my lip in an attempt to hold in some sobs. Because I didn't want to admit to one of my best friends that I'm just a coward.

"You didn't tell him. Did you?" He realized after I didn't respond.

"No." I shook my head.

"Nini! Why not?" Big Red asked in disbelief.

"Because what would he say! He would be so disappointed in me. And he would probably be angry at you! And he would probably just be disgusted." I explained.

"Okay? But now he's gone, Nini? So what was the point of keeping it all in?"

I gues he's right.

"What even made him leave?" Big Red asked.

"I wouldn't tell him." I responded as I felt the salty tears trickle down to my lips. "And he thinks it's because I don't trust him anymore. But I do! I trust him more than anything! But I just couldn't tell him. And he told me to either tell him or to not come to his competition tomorrow." I cried.

"He did?" Big Red asked surprisingly.

I understand why he's so surprised. Skateboarding is the thing that has always kept ricky grounded. It was the first thing he really loved to do. And him telling me not to come was a huge bombshell.

"Why didn't you just tell him! I understand that you're nervous but what about Ricky Nini? We've been lying to him for weeks, saying that everything is okay. But now he's gone! So what was the point of any of it. Because now he obviously knows something was up. You passed out in the middle of the hallway! Do you understand how scared he was?" Big Red explained.

And when he put it that way I just felt awful.

"I lost him." I cried louder. "And it's all my fault."

"Then fix it." Big Red urged.

"How! He hates me!" I sobbed, bringing my hands to my face.

"Nini, Ricky could never hate you. Ever. You're the person that makes his world spin. But he's hurt. So fix it." Big Red explained, with a comforting pat on my arm.

"How?" I asked.

"Go tell him. Go show him that you trust him, and you love him. Tell him everything you're feeling Nini. Tell Ricky the truth. Because that's all he wants from you." Big Red said, giving me one final hug and leaving out the front door.

He's right.

He is always right.

So I ran out the front door, not even bothering to grab my phone. But I locked the door with the extra key and ran the route that is so familiar to me.

I saw his car sitting in the driveway. So at least he's home.

I took the biggest breath and kind of just stood in front of his big oak door for a couple minutes.

Before I knocked.

-
i saw that some of you guys are re-reading when waiting for the new chapters to come out and i can honestly say that i love that! but make sure y'all don't spoil
the book for anyone in the comments hehe;) love you all!!