Tying The Severed Strings

7

I was stunned by what he did. He was kissing me intently. He was like devouring my lips by what he's doing. Putangina.

I actually wanted to resist but my body is betraying me. He was trying to even deepen the kiss and I fucking responded! What the heck is happening to me?! Why am I responding to his kisses?! His hands started to roam around my waist up to my back. Shit. I need to push him away!

Inipon ko ang aking lakas para maitulak ko siya but he even pulled me closer to him. No! Hindi 'to pwede!

Muli ko siyang itinulak at sa wakas ay nagtagumpay akong makawala sa kaniya. "Ano sa tingin mo ang ginagawa mo, Nathan?!" Pasigaw na tanong ko sa kaniya.

Kung hindi ko pa siya pilit itinulak ay baka kung saan pa kami mapunta and that can't happen! "Answer me, Nathan!" I shouted. I feel so angry right now. How dare him!

"I-I don't know, Talia. Uh, I'm sorry." He answered, acting so confused for what he did. 

Napuno ng katahimikan ang aking silid. "Get out, Nathan." I said, trying to calm myself down.

"No, Talia, I'm, I'm really sorry for what happened. I also can't explain myself about what I did. I just.. fuck. I'm so sorry, Talia."

"Just— just go. Leave." I said. "Talia—"

"I SAID, LEAVE, NATHAN! LEAVE!" I shouted.

Mukhang nagulat siya sa pag-sigaw ko kaya naman umalis na siya sa aking kwarto. 

Fuck, why did he kissed me?! What the fuck just happened?! And why did I even let him do that in the first place?! I could've pushed him after some seconds of kissing me so why didn't I?! Why did I even respond to his advances?! Shit.

[next morning]

Due to my usual body clock back there in the province, I wake up early as usual. It's just 5:00 in the morning.

I immediately went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. After doing so, I unlocked my phone to see if there's news about our hacienda but I found nothing. Ugh, I'm starting to worry.

I decided to text Sam, my bestfriend. 

[To: Sam]

Hey Sam, how's the hacienda? Please update me as soon as possible. You can call me or what, Sam. Its just that I'm already starting to worry about you guys. I miss you all there. ☹️

After composing and sending the message, I closed my phone. I'm starting to feel hungry already.

I went downstairs and to my surprise, there is no one there yet. Akala ko kasi ay may makikita na agad akong maids na nag-aayos ng breakfast or what pero wala pa pala. Masyado bang naging maaga yung gising ko? But well anyway, I get to cook for myself then! Yeey! 

Agad kong tinungo ang kusina at tinignan kung anong maari kong iluto. Hm, may eggs, may bacon, may hotdogs and may ham din dito. Tinignan ko pa ang ibang parte ng refrigerator at nakitang halos lahat ng klase ng kakailanganin sa pagluluto ay nandito. I expected that the ref would be full but not into this extent na halos lahat ng hahanapin mo eh nandito nga. Pero well, there are two refs nga naman so, that's possible? Ah basta.

I decided to just make fried rice partnered with fried eggs, bacon and ham. A very simple breakfast. 

Matapos kong magluto ay sinet ko na ang pwesto ko sa counter table para maka-kain na. Duon ko na lang napansin na may mangilan ngilan ng mga maids ang nasisimulang gawin na ang mga tasks na binigay sa kanila. 

I was eating when someone spoke. "You woke up early, Talia." He said. Bakas pa sa kaniyang boses na kagigising niya lang. "I did." Tipid kong sagot. "Did you cook for yourself?" He asked once again. I just nodded then continued eating. "Uhm, where's my share then?" 

"Do you really think that I'll be cooking for you, Nathan?" Walang ganang tanong ko sa kaniya. "Well, 'cause, you know. I mean, I know you're not that of a cold-hearted so yeah." He answered.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you but I didn't. I just cooked for myself. Magluto ka ng para sayo kung gusto mong kumain." Turan ko sabay tayo. I finished eating so i-dineretso ko na sa sink ang pinag-kainan ko. 

Maglalakad na sana ako pa-diretso sa aking silid pero biglang hinawakan ni Nathan ang kamay ko. Ano na namang gusto nitong lalaking 'to? "Ano?" Malamig na tanong ko. 

"About last night, I just want to ---" I cut him off. "Let's forget about what happened last night." I said, in a tone like of a cold-hearted man would do to shoo his play-thing off. 

"No, Talia. That's not what I meant by saying sorry. I just.." He was looking for words to explain himself again. "Stop explaining yourself. Kalimutan na lang natin yon, that's it." Mariing sabi ko. 

"No, I won't. Hindi ko na lang basta kakalimutan ang nangyari sa'tin kagabi, Talia." He stubbornly said. Pucha. "Bahala ka na nga!" Inis na sabi ko sabay hatak ng kamay ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya. 

I was about to go upstairs nang biglang tinawag ni Nathan ang pangalan ko. "Talia." He said. I turned around. "What now?" I asked. "About the banquet.. I really need you to be there. Please Talia, I don't want to be the talk of the town because my wife didn't attend with me when I said that I'll be introducing her to the public."

So in the end, it's really just about his reputation, huh. "Wag kang mag-alala. Pupunta ako." Mahinahong sagot ko sa kaniya sabay akyat ng hagdan. 

Wala pa rin talaga siyang pinagbago. Gagawin niya parin talaga ang lahat para sa pangalan, katayuan o sa tinatawag nilang reputasyon. Para hindi masira 'yon. Fucking disgusting.

Nang makapasok ako sa aking silid ay agad akong humiga sa aking kama. Napabalikwas ako nang bangon nang biglang tumunog ang akin telepono. Someone's calling me.

I hurriedly reached for my phone. Tinignan ko kung sino ang tumatawag. I immediately answered it.

"Hello, Sam?"