Death Bound: Life Support Edition

WTF?

"The city bus barreled down a crowded—"

"Stop, stop, stop. Is this story all spectacle? Don't answer that. Continue."

"Uh, so the city bus—"

"Crashed and made things go boom. Am I right?"

"Well, yeah."

"So, basically, what you have is the makings of a modestly riveting opening, but readers aren't introduced to a character, so they won't care or be invested, which means they won't continue to read."

"I just haven't gotten to the character part yet."

"Took too long. By the way, I'm Curry."

"Hey, that's my name, too!"

"I know, I created and named you."

"Wait, what?"

"Another time. Let's focus."

"No. You can't drop this kind of information on me and then move on."

"You'll just have to trust me. Now's not the time to get into all that. Just start your story over. And be quick about it. Seriously."

"Fine."

"Oh, and give me a different opening this time, but no dreams or alarm clocks. Too unoriginal. Something fresh that'll hook a reader's attention."

"Okay. How about, It was a dark and stormy—"

"Butthole."

"Huh?"

"Funny, how that one word is vastly more entertaining than that recycled opening sentence. I've seen many a butthole in my life. Dark? Sure. But stormy? Nah, flatulent, maybe. Anyway, try again."

"You're one weird guy."

"And you would know. Try again."

"Once upon a—"

"Nope."

"He was born—"

"Who 'was born'? Also, avoid starting with passive tense, remember to use concrete details, be original and show style. Your style. That's the key."

"Born April 24th, 1983, Curry lived, loved and laughed more than he cried and fought. In 2020, he died happy. Still, he died like everyone else. A cliché."

"Oh! Ok, not bad for Flash Fiction, but not quite as good as the story I'm telling right this moment."

"What are you talking about?"

"This story. About you, troubled fiction author, A. R. Curry, who's struggling to tell a decent story."

"Excuse me? If I'm struggling, it's because you keep interrupting."

"Me? How can I interrupt my own story?"

"It's not your story. It's mine. I'm the one trying to tell it."

"Yes, but I'm the one telling the story ABOUT you trying to tell it. That there, FYI, is a little something known as a plot twist."

"You think you're so clever. Okay, fine. If this is your story, and I'm your main character, then—" 

"Protagonist."

"Yes, that. Then isn't it sorta vain that you've inserted yourself into it?"

"Meh. My story. I'll tell it how I wanna. Besides, this isn't the first time. I also star in my picture book, My Yearbook Nightmare!, which you can purchase on Amazon or my website at ARCurry.com."