Once upon a blessing🌼

The begining of a dark start.

After I took him back I started to feel worthless, started to feel like I wasn't beautiful, I hated myself and tried so hard to change myself to see what about me was not enough, but during this time I was in the process of losing myself, I was in the process of pushing people away, sadly no one saw how depressed I was. I acted like I was okay but deep down I was hurting. Weeks later I found out my friends were talking bad about me behind my back. Talking bad about my relationship and saying I am just not good enough. That hurt me. How could they say those things?? I am going thru a tough time and they still went ahead and said all these mean things?? I had enough and one day I went up to them and said "so we going to be talking sh*t now" they all just sat there looking at each other. Then one of them finally spoke up and said "no one was talking sh*t about you " like damn if we weren't in public I would have really went off and showed them the proof that I had but I wasn't going to waste my time and energy so I walked away. I just couldn't believe it these were my life long friends, my CHILDHOOD friends I thought they would have never stabbed me in the back. I thought they would have had my back and support me but instead they went ahead and stabbed me, lied to me, Betrayed me. My depression was at its lowest. Sucied thoughts starting coming to my head. I just wanted to end it all. And now what made matters worse is weeks after. My boyfriend called it quits. He told me he just couldn't do it anymore. That "I was too much" like wtf? After everything I did?? After all I did to defend him?? He just going to leave me like that?? Oh and here's the best part. Later that week I found out he tried getting with the girl he cheated on me with! Like what?! Could my year get any worst then this?