Dear Shania

chapter 1.

Shania
I grabbed my phone.That is the first thing I do every morning.i rubbed my eyes drowsily I clearly still needed to sleep but today was that God forsaken day.Monday.amazing.

I pulled my jet black hair in frastruation.Damn I hate mondays.I never understand why Friday is so fucking close to Monday but Monday is so far away from Friday.

I wasn't expecting a text.It never happened-I never woke up to good morning texts ever.My best friend said it's because I kept  to myself so much and never let people in.That was me though I loved living life on my own

I dragged my heavy feet to the bathroom after inserting a charger into my phone.It never seemed to be charged when I woke up.I stepped into the shower and felt the warm water trickle down my smooth skin.Damn I could stay there forever.I closed my eyes and let myself into the moment scrubbing my long black hair.

Iam so proud of my hair.With it I feel pretty and confident.I hastily blow-dried my hair and tied it in a tight ponytail,brushed my teeth and picked my outfit for the day.

A black crop sweater and jeans. I threw on my white canvas,stuffed my backpack with my laptop,phone and keys before descending the stairs and made for the front door

.Just incase you are curious,I don't eat in the morning it makes me nauseous and furious.Furious at my body for overreacting.Why couldn't it handle things that were so normal to other human beings?

"Sweetie, you can't even greet us?"My mum called from the dining hall where the whole family was seated having breakfast.I live with my mum,stepfather and my step sister Chloe.We go to the same school with her.People say she is pretty with her blonde hair and bright green eyes.Her make up was always perfectly done and she attracted a lot of attention allover school.

If you ask me,I don't like any of these people seated at the dining table right now.I don't hate them though I just hope we can stay clear of each other's lanes.I sighed loudly."Debbie iam late."I said and opened the door without waiting for her reply.Holding tightly to my backpack,I took furious steps to my car and drove off.

If you are thinking iam an asshole for addressing my mother with her first name,think again because she loves it like that.I grew up calling her Debbie.

Driving is one of the few  things I like doing.Whenever I feel angry or misunderstood,I just take my car and drive endlessly.It makes me calm down.Watching the buildings and people move in the opposite direction,the smooth gliding of wheels against the tar black tarmac gave me inner peace...every time.

It was a thirty minute drive from home.I spotted my best friend as I parked in the campus parking lot.Of course we were being charged at maddening rates but my mum has money it won't hurt to pay for a mere parking spot.

.I waved at him and he came towards me with a huge grin.He engulfed me in a bear hug and for a moment it felt so warm.He was a little taller than me.Not so much though this made ninenty percent of the arguments we have.Who is taller.I know he is but I argue anyway.Again that is just how iam and he is the only one who seems to understand me.

"Ken one day you will have a girlfriend and she won't like our hugs."I said playfully when we let go.He shrugged wiping imaginary sweat from his forehead.His deep brown eyes stared into mine when laughed heartily."No one will want to be my girlfriend,"he said,"I can't just be what they are looking for."

With that he strode away.I ran after him feeling sorry for him.He always hid his pain with laughter and unless you knew him well you will never notice he is sad.

"Ken-" I started when I caught up with him but he held up his hand."There is much more to life,"he said smiling but I knew deep down he was breaking into so many pieces."When the one for me comes I will know." I had to smile at his strong personality.

I guess that is why he is my friend.Nothing crashes us we are strong.We face life head on."We are late for class,"he said playfully,"thanks to your fat ass," I glared at him and gave him a jab in the ribs.He yelped.I am not even fat and I wish I was.Maybe that could make me thick in the right places you know what iam saying?

The lecture was boring.it is always boring sweetheart.Fine it was but maybe I expected something better today.Isn't that how life is?You know exactly what is going to happen but for some reason you keep on hoping things will change.funny."Iam getting the hell out of here."

Before I even responded Ken was already on his way out.There was no point in waiting for me.I could die of boredom in a class but I never left. Not even once.He knew that.

Ken was nowhere in sight when the class ended.I left in haste.Two long hours of torture were finally over.I released a breath almost too loudly and headed straight for the cafeteria.It was almost noon and I definitely needed to eat something.Just anything.I was busy searching my bag for the money when I bumbed into something hard.When I looked up,the first thing I noticed were the deep blue eyes

It felt like staring into a bottomless abyss of mystery.The eyes said so much.Of course I noticed he had on a huge black hoodie that covered his head and from which soft dark curls fell on his forehead lazily.I felt like I could stare forever at his perfectly shaped side burns but he snapped his fingers in my face.

"Don't try that old school trick on me."he said coldly and walked off  with long proud strides.Damn that jerk was so tall I felt like a child before him.His broad chest made me fantasize.But he hurt my pride! I thought getting out of my daze.He thought I deliberately knocked into him."hey asshole!"I shouted at his back.I thought he will ignore but he turned slowly and glared at me.

"You are not as hot as you think you are,"I shouted attracting onlookers.Of course I was lying.To myself."You should really think again if you think I can deliberately run into you.Hopeless mammal." I held up my middle finger and made a face as I said the last part before turning around and continuing to the cafeteria.I didn't look back at him so I don't know what he did or how he reacted.

I was halfway through my giant egg sandwich and hot coffee when Ken got in in haste.He looked around frantically before he spotted me and walked over.

"You couldn't just wait for me,"he chuckled shaking his head
"Someone hurt me,"I said all of a sudden.I was joking of course.well I don't know if I was.My bestfriend knew I wasn't joking.

"Give me a name," he growled.I laughed but it was strained.Truth be told, I felt curious.I wanted to know him.I had noticed tired lines under his eyes.There was a certain sadness.A sadness I so much wished to know about.Don't misunderstand me.Iam curious.Just curious.Nothing else.well,I hope so