Saar

Chapter 3

Only saw infidelity in life, I saw only seclusion in the crowd

I give love to the gifts I seek,

These wounds that have been found are very deep, the eyes of sorrow on my happiness,

Whatever I erase the pain, I seek you

Got entangled in the clutches of relationships, find her like

Whatever I find in existence, I look for that in the mirror

I never left the prayer, I never broke our record

The heaven that gives me, I seek you,

There is an attempt to show you in every breath,

I make a close impression of what you seem to be

But I never found you

One of the first few poems I wrote. A romantic one. Mottled with young teenage romance I used to remember her. I left Charlotte or should I call her Chari, behind with Saar when I left to pursue my dreams. With everything I even forgot her. It was this poem that brought all the memories to life.

"Heinrich do you know what happened to Chari?" I asked whilst tucking the small paper sheet in my coat. "Sire, destiny played all its game on that poor girl, happily married until last winter, just to be widowed this Christmas. This war gave us little to nothing and took almost everything we had. Young boys and girls massacred in the fields. And what he did to the Jews is unspeakable". Heinrich's chagrin and rage were visible on his face. I was horrified by Chari's fate. I always dreamt of marrying her. However, our paths were never related. Everything around me seemed so gloomy and depressing. Joseph was wrong Saar was no longer the jubilant adobe it used to be. Now what remains is blood and hatred.

The next few days I spent like a nocturnal being, only coming out at night. Heinrich was least indulgent in my life, my sorrow to him was like a facade. He petty my life and catered to my guilt. "Sire, do you wish to dine today or this night under the mood too?" Heinrich's taunts were mere reflection of people's outlook towards my life.

"Sire someone is here to see you" Heinrich came into my room.

It was Chari. Her appearance in these tough times felt like water in a drought. There she stood in a bright pink floral skirt, her skin reflecting the sun. Witnessing her there was like a dream. "How are you doing, Chari?" I asked standing here like a blushing young boy.

"So you know?" Chari asked. Her voice was still the same. "Know what?" I asked whilst offering her a chair in my garden. "About my husband's death?" she looked me in my eyes as if she would see through me like a prism. "How do you know that?" I pretended. "Nothing I sensed the sympathy in your voice, as a widow I have been offered nothing but sympathy, I know when someone is offering some more" Chari has changed, she was no longer the shy and meek girl I left her as. She has pupated in this tough and outspoken lady. Time and circumstances have forged her to be like this.

"I am sorry for your loss" I shamelessly offered my sympathy. "Thank you" Chari rolled her eyes. Heinrich bought some tea and biscuits, I offered them to Chari. "So, I saw you in the village the other day and you seem so.... Worried" Chari asked and took a sip from the tea. "Oh, I was just concerned people won't recognise me. Hence, thought to leave" I tried pushing it under the rug. Chari smirked at me and said, "I should tell you one more thing that I have learned being a widow". She said, "Accept the things you cannot change, Have the courage to change the things you can, and have the wisdom to know the difference". "That's the Serenity prayer" I mentioned. "Well, I don't know that. However, this is something that you should understand" Chari kept the cup down. It took a second for Chari's words to have an impact, but when it did I was shaken. Chari knew my fears better than anyone. It made sense I had nothing in my hands except my fate and life and for the past week, I have been sulking on life and as if to agree that it was my fault that my father is no more.

I smiled at her and indicated that I understood. Chari left. I tried stopping her but she just said "The only permanent in life is death. Hence, others will change and you can't control that..."

Chari was like the light I needed in life. I decided to go back on business; to complete the purpose of visiting Saar. The next few days I spent was going around the mansion and collecting resources for my business.

"Heinrich? Why is father's study locked" I asked whilst inspecting the big lock on the door. Heinrich came with an eerie gust around his face. "Sire...." Before Heinrich would say anything the main door was knocked. Heinrich immediately rushed towards it. His indifferent behaviour sparked an array of suspicion.

"Sire, there is a messenger for you" Heinrich said