CHAPTER SIXTEEN
"Support group." My mother told me as she and my father sat across from me at the kitchen table. We were discussing what would be best for me, seeing as though I had only been getting worse. I would put food into my stomach, but it wouldn't stay there for long. I wouldn't keep it down. I couldn't. My mother continued, "The first meeting is tomorrow. You can meet with a bunch of other people who feel just like you do."
"Fat? Disgusting?" I began to list all the things I felt when I thought about food. They hushed me, and continued speaking about what they had looked into. I didn't want to pay attention, but I forced myself to because somewhere deep down, part of me knew I needed this.
I was allowed to leave after I agreed to follow through. It was nearly 7:00 pm, and I decided to take a shower. I had too much on my mind all at once, and a nice warm shower usually seemed to clear my head. All I did was think. That was all I could do. What if you hate it? You will. I thought, when a vision of how tomorrow would go, passed through my mind. I wasn't very good a socializing with people I didn't know. How can this possibly do me any good? I wanted to cry at this point, unsure of what I would do.
"Melanie!" My mother called for me, outside of the bathroom door.
I continued to wash my hair. "What now?" I grumbled rather harshly.
She was saying something I couldn't hear through the sound of water pounding onto my head as I rinsed.
"What?" I said again, wanting her to repeat herself.
"Jack's here!" Her words were extremely clear now and I shut off the water as quickly as I could, and stuck my head out of the shower curtain. The door was cracked open a bit.
"Can he wait five minutes?" I asked, wringing out my hair.
"Should I stall him?"
"Yes! Please do that!"
My mother then shut the door and proceeded downstairs downstairs to Jack, who I assumed might be impatient if I took too long.
I wrapped my body in a purple towel and vigorously rubbed my hair with a smaller one. After making a quick dash to my bedroom across the hall, I pulled a sweatshirt over my head and slid on a pair of leggings, moving faster than I thought possible.
Within a few minutes I was walking down the stairs, trying to be casual, with a fake grin on my makeup-less face. Dear God. Jack stood at the coat rack next to my front door, talking to my mother. I prayed she did not tell him anything about the plans I had for tomorrow.
He smiled at me when I entered the light of the kitchen. I stared at my mother, silently asking her to leave. She knew what I meant, because she got up and smiled as she tiptoed up the stairs.
"Why weren't you at school yesterday?" Jack asked me after I offered him to sit with me in the living room. "And today?"
"Well, I... Didn't feel well. But I'm okay now." I lied, feeling terrible.
"Oh. Well, I'm glad you're better." He cleared his throat. "So I was wondering... If maybe tomorrow since you're okay now--" he began, but I immediately knew I had to reject him.
"Tomorrow?" I blurted, hoping he didn't find it too rude of me to cut him off. "I can't. I have... Um." I tried to think of an excuse. I couldn't tell him.
"A doctor's appointment." Mark's voice said from behind me. My eyes widened. Why would he cover me, after all he had done? "Physical exam. Can't miss it."
As Mark finished, I took a deep breath. "Yeah, that. I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He playfully nudged my shoulder with a half smile.
