ᴀᴛᴛɪᴄᴜs

Did you ever love me?

A/n: please get your tissues ready and a bottle of water and a snack because this will be in two parts. Also how're you today.

I stood there behind the door of someone I used to love so much. I was so hesitant to knock walked away when the door opened. Turning around I was met with his beautiful blue-green eyes. "Hello Neal. It's been awhile." I said with a painful small smile. Neal cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah it um has been Zoe. Listen, I know things between us didn't end well at all but I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Neal said his deep blue piercing eyes looked into my being hazel ones. "No, I uh should be sorry for leaving you alone the next morning and not telling you were I went." I said as I stepped closer to him, smelling his Chanel bleu cologne. "Neal." I whispered as I took his hand in mine. "I never meant to leave but I just couldn't handle being away from you, and I know your job is so important but all I ever wanted was for you to be there when I needed you." I ended with kissing his slender fingers. "Zoe." He said with worrisome eyes as his lip plastered into a small smile.

"If that's all you ever wanted you could've told me and I would've willing told peter that I needed a few days off." He explained as he pulled me into a warm enveloping hug. "We both know peter would've said no Neal." I giggled as he looked down at me chuckling, the vibrations sending a chill down my spine. "Oh baby, you know it." He said as he was as interrupted by a phone call. "Hold on Zoe, I need to take this." He said stepping off into the balcony where we had endless morning breakfasts and chess games and some book time. Maybe even one time we got a little carried away with the romance. "Those were the best days I had." I said daydreaming of still being Neal. "No! No Moz! Ugh!!" Neal groaned as he hung up. Frustrated I walked over and hugged Neal. "Hey Neal cheer up, you know Mozzie is only doing what he thinks is best." I said as I rubbed his back. "Yeah but he's such a pain in the ass." He sighed heavily.

"Hey why don't I make you tea." I said as my accent sounded cliche when I said tea. "That'd be great Zoe thank you." He said kissing my head like he used to when we were going out. "Hey anything for you." I said as I patted his shoulder. The water boiled fairly quick so I pulled his favorite mug and put the tea bag inside the cup. "Here you go, just be careful don't burn yourself it's still pretty hot." I said as I curled into his side.

"Zoe, what're you doing?" He asked as I nuzzled my head into his chest. "Hmm." I hummed to signal I was listening but more so avoiding the question. "Zoe. Come on you can tell me." He said as he gently rubbed my arm. "I guess I just miss this life style, you know waking up every morning with fresh bacon and coffee. And seeing you every morning with your soft pajamas." I smiled as I felt a small tear escape my eye. "Zoe, you know your always welcome here June doesn't mind. I'm almost certain she scolded me when you left." He said trying to make me smile. "I don't wanna be a burden Neal." I said looking up at him. "Your not a burden, Zoe... I don't like when you talk yourself down. Your amazing and when I heard you overdosed I couldn't help but bring myself to wish I was there to help you." Neal as he he moved my layered hair behind my ear.

"When I overdosed it wasn't for attention Neal, I just wasn't happy with what I was doing and when I got better all I wanted to do was come here and be with you. Even if my manager at the time did want me to stay single." I said as I looked down at my shoes, the perfect faux leather a light brown as the ends of my jeans disappeared into the booties.

"Hey Zoe, can I ask something." Neal said trying to distract me from my troubled past. "Sure." I said looking at his deep blue eyes, I still looked at them with adoration. "When we had our fight and you said I wasn't over Kate and it our relationship was just based on pure sex. I thought about it and it wasn't always about the sex or anything like that, I did and still do love you. But you were right about Kate. So when you left I found it my responsibility to get over her." Neal said as he held my hand in his strong ones.

"Just please stay the night with me, even if you have to leave in the morning I don't care. I just need you still." He said as he gently placed a light kiss on my blush tinted lips. Hungrily I placed my hands around Neal's neck as one dragged down into his deep curls. "I missed you so much." I mumbled as Neal bit my lip as caressed my tongue with his. "I've missed you even more." He says smiling as he gently carried me up into his room, where a lot of memories happened.