ᴀᴛᴛɪᴄᴜs

Lover is a day

A/n: And the sadness begins even more...enjoy? I promise there's going to be a change in the story soon just let this happen okay, ❤️.

I woke up and immediately felt myself in that meh mode. I didn't care what anyone did or tried to get me to do, it was like I was back in school. I felt absorbed into what people wanted me to do for them.

I got up throwing on a pair of leggings and my running shoes and my windbreaker. I wanted to go on a jog to get my mind settled with what I was gonna say to Gauge about yesterday.

I opened my bedroom door and was met with the smell of breakfast; He's in the kitchen, what're your going to say? I decided I'd just stick to not saying anything as I put in my AirPods and shuffled my playlist as Cuco's lover is a day played first ironically. Ha, that a real knee slapper. I smirked weakly as I passed by Gauge and thank god he was busy with his breakfast as I closed the door.

Walking down the flights of stairs was already a burn on my legs as a warm up. I mean I could've taken the elevator but the stairs were better for exercising. I decided I'd jog around the block and towards a local book store since I wanted to check if they got any new records or movies. Maybe even pick up a new journal if I have time.

I was running on a pretty tight schedule I wanted to keep myself busy; avoid Gauge as much as possible. So since I was going to be avoiding him I decided I'd pack all my necessities in my fanny pack, including my life saver, my baby, dark blue inhaler.

I had a schedule planned out for myself, go for a jog, then go to local book store (Barnes and Nobel) then go to a salon and get my brows and lip waxed and nails painted to a light punk kinda color and then go to a salon so they can fix up my dead ends and split ends.

——

After I had gotten all of my today dos done I decided I'd go back home. I used the elevator since I didn't feel like climbing the damn stairs like I did this morning. "Ugh, I need a miracle." I mumbled as I unlocked the door and went straight to my room ready to take a shower and get all of dirt and grim off me.

——

I heard the door open after awhile I probably fell asleep, I saw Gauge kneeling down on my floor to look at me but I felt the same feeling from last night- dread, sadness, numbness and tears.

"Hey Zoe, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday." He said rubbing his hands together. I guess he was nervous? I don't really give a fuck anymore.

"There's nothing to talk about Gauge, you fucked your ex girlfriend and I'm okay with that really." I said as I wiped my eyes along with my mouth as I felt drool on them. "Yes, yes there is something to talk about and it's not like it's new! I mean I still fuck you and your my ex girlfriend as well." He said trying to cover up what he said while digging an even deeper hole now. "Oh wow, oh okay fuck. Well I'm sorry, but I guess we're not friends with benefits anymore, I'm sorry I corrupted you into being in this with me." I said as I was in disbelief and shock as I was hurt again. "That's... that's not what I meant Zoe. Look truth is I just.. I just don't see why it's a big deal to you. It's not like you in love with me, because we promised we'd never catch feelings for one another. Remember?" He said as he sat on my bed. "Uh riiight..." I said as I felt my heart completely get crushed on the inside of my already broken body. "You know it's late and I'm tired so I need some sleep." I said trying to get him to get out of my room so I could let it all out. "Yeah right sorry, I woke you up." He said as he caressed my cheek and planted a kiss on it. "Yeah Goodnight." I said as I closed the door and locked it crawling back onto my bed I just let all of my bottled emotions out.

Gauge leaned against the door as he heard the small sobs escaping my pink lips and he felt how truly hurt I was whether I was happy for him or not he felt all of it.