[On-going] The Gay Heartthrob

Chapter 15:I love You

"Are you okay Seungji? Are you still going to school? You're puking these days," Miso sounds worried and I stintly smiled.

"I'm okay," I sighed, but I'm feeling nervous, my menstruation is delayed,
I'm not a fool, I knew that I might be pregnant. The thought made me grimace.

"Are you really okay Seungji?" She asked again.
"Yeah, yeah, but I will do something today so I won't go to school," I said giving her a look that she shouldn't ask anymore.

"Okay, okay, bye,"
"Bye Miso,"

I went on a clinic to consult the doctor, she asked random things.

"Dear, you are pregnant," She said

"What?! It's not true! I'm just seventeen!" I yelled.
"It is possible once you have your menstruation you're capable of bearing a child," She said and my lips trembled as I run away.
No...no! What will my parents say? What will I do now?! No! No!

I ended up sitting in the couch feeling weak.
I dialed Jinru's number but he didn't pick up the phone.
Until I texted him but he didn't answered.

Until I don't know that I'm just crying and crying until it's afternoon, I ride a taxi and waited in the bench near his house. I patiently waited until he came.

He passed by but he just stared at me and ignored.

"Jinru wait!" I hold his hand.
His eyes tight shut in frustration.

"Seungji just stop this okay? Leave me alone!" He yelled.
"No Jinru you don't understand,"
Jinru glared.

"What do I need to understand?!
That you're fooling me? That you're a slut?! We're over," He rolled his eyes.

"I need to tell you something..."
He paused.
"I-I....I am....I'm, I-"
His eyes rolled,
"Whatever is that just keep it to yourself," He said and completely left me.

"Jinru..."I just whispered his name.
I keep on sobbing while I walk, I don't know where to go, and if I get back to Miso, I don't know what to tell her.

I'm too young for this,
Why did I do this to myself?
I came to this environment to stop being miserable but now I'm more miserable than I thought.

The rain started pouring,
Why does the rain always pour during sad moments?
What if I get sick?
Will I die? Isn't it good if I die?
How about the baby?
No, I don't have a baby, the doctor is lying, I don't have a baby.

A shade prevented the rain from invading me.

"Seungji," It's Miso looking me worriedly, I look down, I don't wanna talk to her, I'll look more pathetic.

"Seungji, tell me, what is it?" She asked.

I just hugged her and sobbed not caring if Miso will get wet due to my wet clothes.

"Ssshhh it's okay," She rubbed my back.
"It's not okay Miso, it's never okay," I sobbed more.
"Let's go home first okay? You need to change,"

...

My gaze is just blank as Miso stared at me.
"Seungji come on tell me, we're best friends right?"
I didn't answer, I don't know where to start.
"If you keep that it will destroy you, just tell me Seungji," Miso sighed.
"I'm already ruined," My voice started to crack.
"Tell me we might find a way to fix it," Miso said giving me a worried look.
"How could you fix it Miso?" My voice is full of doubts.
"Seungji..."
I sighed
"If I tell you, are we still friends? Won't you push me away?" I asked filled with despair.
"Ofcourse, what are you saying?" She give me an incredible look.
"Miso...I'm pregnant," I started and Miso's eyebrows twitched.
"What? Hey...don't joke here," Miso chuckled.

"I'm not kidding, I am pregnant Miso, I am pregnant,"I started to cry harder.
Miso is just silent frowning as she watches me cry.

" Tell me how?"Miso frowned and I started to tell her everything.
"So how's it now? Jinru doesn't know?" Miso sounds worried.
"Yeah, he hates me, I'm a slut Miso, you don't deserve a friend like me...."I cried.
" Sssshh, no, you're not a slut, you're just carried away, Seungji why don't you tell me that you and Jinru have this kind of sexual relationship at the first place? I might've helped you,"She pulled me into an embrace lightly stroking my hair.

"I don't think this will happen, I don't want this I don't want a child, I'm too young Miso," I keep crying.

"I know, but Seungji, the child got no sins, the child is innocent, take care of your baby, for now the best thing that you will do is to tell your parents and face the consequences because you did that then it's your responsibility,
a responsibility that came from your misinterpretation of love," Miso slowly said calming me down as she gently stroked my hair,I don't know why is she doing this she must've hate me.

"We're still friends Miso?" I asked.
"Yes, I'm here for you," She said.
"But why?" I asked and there is silence.
"Because I realized I love you Seungji," She said and I look up.
"Huh?" My heart rumbled.
"I love you Seungji, I know it's crazy, I'm not like this, I mean we're both girls, but you are always there for me when no one's there, and now I know," Miso said and that made my tears streamed down my face.

"Are you sure?" I asked and she give me a kiss as an answer.
"Yeah, Seungji, that night when I kiss you,
I really want that, sorry if I forced you," She said stroking my hair.
"It's okay Miso,"I said staring at her face. She cupped my face and went closer, Jinru's image suddenly flashed. I looked away.

"I'm sorry Miso," I said and rushed upstairs.
Why is it like this? How could I even tell Jinru?

...

Days passed and I'm normally going to school. No matter what I can't let my grades fall.
No one knows about this and even if me and Jinru are classmates it's hard to tell him.
He is so distant and I can't find the right timing.

"It's okay Seungji, we will get through this," Miso shushed me.
"Crying will not help you at all, the best thing that we can do is
to tell your parents you can't hide it forever," Miso said.

"The library is not a chatting room! Silence!"The librarian said.

"Sorry ma'am,"Miso said.
"I'm scared Miso," I leaned on her shoulder.

"I'll accompany you when you're already ready," She said and I nodded seeing the book we're finding in the corner.

I pulled it from the shelve.
"Careful Seungji there's a huge book over the shelve it might fall!" Miso warned.
"It's okay Miso!"
A painful thing suddenly hit my head.

"Seungji!"