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The tears never seemed to end as I ran down the hall towards the girls bathroom and into a cubicle. Slamming the door shut I crouched into a ball with my head in my lap, trying to keep quiet in the midst of all of this. The voices of a certain group of girls could be heard as they entered the room.
"Girls if I didn't know too well I would guess our little friend is somewhere hiding in here." They all laughed on cue as if rehearsed. "Too bad she doesn't want to hang out!" Another set of laughs rang around the toilet. I on the other hand tried engulfing myself even more as if somehow that would make me invisible or make me completely disappear in this moment.
But just as I thought that maybe they had finally left, a whole bucket of water drenched me from head to toe. It wasn't even that shocking at this point but still you feel that sting of hurt every time. The laughs just made it worse and made my blood boil but I knew I was never a match to stand up to their constant bullying. I wasn't their only target but I was definitely their favourite that's for sure.
Once I was sure they had all left and I was alone again I slowly opened the cubicle to come face to face with my reflection in the mirror. What's wrong with you Y/N? Why are you so weak? I've asked myself this question since elementary school and here I am in senior year - same old, nothing new.
I grabbed a handful of paper napkins in a fury before heading out. Luckily everyone was in last period so the school halls were empty meaning nobody would find me wondering about, it wasn't like they would care if I was missing anyway. Couldn't blame them not even my parents cared with their alcoholic selves.
Making the decision that I would just leave early I collected my belongings from my locker and trudged to the entrance. I was so unaware of my surroundings that I didn't notice the two sets of eyes that held a worrisome stare on my current state.
"Hey!" I heard a voice and was so shocked that I just began to run. Run as fast as my short legs could carry me which ended up being the bus stop. But the follower didn't stop and they eventually caught up. "You run fast for someone who is short you know that?" They breathed heavily with a hint of amusement in their voice but my face held an opposing emotion. A blank stare with no sign of cheerfulness.
"Well I um, just wanted to say you that.." he mumbled but managed to point to my chest and when I looked down I had never been this embarrassed in my life. Covering what was now my see through shirt with my small blazer, I turned away from his face as I felt the growing warmth of my flushed cheeks. His sudden giggle didn't help either.
"Here." I didn't even have time to process what was going on before I was wrapped with a dry and much larger size of a blazer. "You'll catch a cold walking around like this. We don't want that happening now do we?" He said.
"Why are you helping me?" Was all I could mutter.
"What?" He sound shocked.
"I just don't understand why you would be willing to help someone like me. Since we go to the same school I'm pretty sure you've seen or at least heard of who I am, and I'm not a favourite I know that for sure." I looked down as fresh tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. "I just want to let you know that I'm not going to feel anything if you were to be nice to me for a while and then become just like the rest of them. I'm already use to it one more isn't really going to hurt."
I turned away sheepishly but when he didn't reply I looked back.
Now it was his turn to stare at me blankly.
He smiled, sadly. "You think I hate you?" Holding on to my shoulders we became eye level and just stared at one another before he brought me into a warm and almost protective hug.
"I haven't been here for long and haven't grown close to anyone yet but I'm certain I'll never become apart of the people who you're afraid of. It's clear to see you're not someone who easily opens up to others and I get that but by building a wall in front of those who truly want to help is only going to cause you more pain. I'm not going to force you to open up to me and for us to automatically get along but I know I want to get to know you more and I hope you want to too." He let go to see my face and I felt a single tear escape down my face.
"You're accurate on the opening up to people and building a wall part but how can I trust you when I can't even trust myself - " I didn't even get to finish my statement before I was being pulled along down the street towards a nearby café.
He made me sit down at a table and ordered us drinks before sitting across from me. "Go ahead and share what you want to share. It can be anything let's get to know each other under such circumstances."
I was stunned by his boldness but gave it a chance. And so a rush of emotions, heartfelt moment, café questions and the rest of senior year built a friendship that I was forever thankful for.
- graduation -
"Alright everyone look this way for the photo. Right on 3,2,1!"
The camera clicked and took our senior groups graduation. Even though I wasn't too keen on taking any photos with anyone other than Soobin, I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't make my decisions based off of the opinion of others. Definitely an improvement that I was proud of and made me feel a little more confident. The past couple of months with Soobin have been better than my whole entire school years and I hadn't smiled this much since what seemed like forever.
I wasn't entirely over the years of abuse I had experienced but I knew that life would be much better from now on.
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wow I'm on a role! 2 updates in one day who is this new person 👀 hope u enjoyed ;))
"if you turn and face the other way when someone is being bullied you might as well be the bully too"#saynotobullying🚫
