spring ; 04

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The next day, Nini stormed out of her room bright and early. However, not looking as bright and cheery as the sun in the sky — she didn't get much sleep that night, her brain unable to stop running after what happened between Ricky and her. The fact that he had dropped a series of texts last night and this morning was not helping in distracting her either.

Ricky

Hey Nina, I'm waiting at by the bar, hope to see you soon

Nins, I promised I'll be here till you arrive, I intend to keep that promise

Morning Nina, hope you slept well last night, missed you

If you're keen, you could drop by during lunch break at 11.30 and I would explain myself

Nini was not about to give in to Ricky, even though she felt a slight bit guilty for making him stay the entire night, a night before duty the next day, for a no-show; she was also touched that he continued to call her Nina, as she liked him to. But she could already hear Kourtney going off about him to her, about how he was a no-show for her too, and no boys deserved a girl pining after them, Nini deserved better. Deciding to redirect her confused mind, she rode with her mom to their surfboard board, to stocktake in the warehouse, a task that she knew would grant her the distraction she needed.

This cycle went on from Sunday to Wednesday: Ricky continued to text her before and after his shift and Nini was not being able to sleep well, despite having to go to school. By midweek, she looked like a wreck and Nate caught on to it.

"Nins, what is going on with you?" He sat her down after dinner one day, confronting her about the mess she looked like.

"What?" She tried to avoid the question, pretending to not know what he was referring to; even though she knew that Nate would see through her act.

"Nini, you never wake up early, you haven't gone surfing in a week and the bags under your eyes are worse than finals period. And, don't you try to lie to me, young lady, Nic told me everything."

Nini sighed, "Well, if you know everything then why are you even asking?" It was true, Nate could see through her, he really didn't need to ask. "Why does that boy have such an effect on you?" This was something Nate couldn't figure out, Ricky wasn't the first guy that Nini had interest in, and it was not the first time she got rejected either (though he knew it wouldn't have hurt less another time). There was something about Ricky that she was drawn to, else she wouldn't have turned into this mess.

"I don't know either, Nate. Maybe it's because he's really damn handsome, or that he's playing hot and cold and I can't figure him out?" There was a question in Nini's voice, she knew it was because she was unsure herself. "Maybe I felt like we connected on an emotional level, more than I have with anyone else. He's new in town, he didn't see me as the baby Roberts, sister of Nicholas and Nathan Roberts — I could be whoever I really was with him, without fear of being judged or damaging your reputation." I get to be called Nina, and I get to be Nina, not Nini — no one on this island even calls me or remembers me by that name anymore.

Nate was silent when he heard what she said. The only secret Nini ever kept from her brothers was out. As much as she loved them and how involved they were in her life (and vice versa), she was tired of living in their shadow. She had to put on a smile on her face, be nice to everyone and let everyone call her Nini because Nic and Nate liked that nickname and introduced her as such. Growing up, she'd gotten used to the name and was really proud to be her brothers' little sister, but since her last year of high school, with the talk about colleges or futures, Nini began to start getting compared with her brothers and their successful careers, people began sucking up to her just so they could talk to Nic or Nate. She felt like she wasn't her own person anymore, and she hated that feeling. Ricky was a fresh face in town, he didn't know her or her brothers well enough, he didn't watch them grow up; he didn't judge her for not being a pro-surfer nor a businesswoman, nor was he talking with her to get closer to her brothers.

The only boy who had accepted her for the real Nina, threw all of it back to her. This was why she was in shambles.

Nate left her alone after that conversation, saying that he would go help their mom hang out the laundry. Once Nini had admitted these things to herself, she slept a lot better. Anger turned to sadness and disappointment of the loss of a friendship she really wanted. She suddenly felt like she needed to know if there was any fixing their friendship.

Friday came and she looked even more of a giant mess, this time, her eyes were puffy and red, signs of crying herself to sleep, called in sick the previous day. The pressing question of Why? clouded her thoughts. Gina and Kourtney were unable to contact her for the whole of Thursday, now seeing the state she was in, they were done with giving her space. Their cars pulled up in front of Nini's home and pushed her up to her room for an interrogation.

"Nini Roberts, is this about that Poipu lifeguard?" Gina sat next to her on the bed, while Kourtney was in the hammock opposite her.

"I swear, I'm gonna slap the heck out of that guy and-" Kourtney was about to destroy the patriarchy but Nini interrupted her, "It's just me, I can't bring myself to talk to him even though I want to so badly."

"I can't help but wonder what I did wrong to make him so cold-" Nini was interrupted by Kourtney, "Girl, if he doesn't know how to appreciate you, it's his fault, not yours. And I will slap-" Gina shushed Kourtney, cutting her off, "Nins, let him explain himself. If he's a petty bitch about it then tell me and Kourtney and we'll personally castrate him so that he'll never harm the female population again." Nini laughed at her threat but enveloped Gina in a hug, thankful for the support and advice her friend had given her. "If this is what you want, maybe you gotta fight for it, Nini."

Gina had personally driven her to Poipu beach after their interrogation, around 4.30pm when Ricky's shift was ending. Nini slid out of the passenger seat and headed for the lifeguard tower, a large bag full of coconut water in hand. She felt like she had to make it up to Red and EJ for her absence in the past two weeks. Nah, it was just an extra reason for her to not to up and leave out of fear.

Ricky was walking along the beach, a serious demeanor laced in his expression. Nini figured she would drop the coconut water off later, to give her a reason to not chicken out. "Hey Ricky," she tried, as she finally stood next to him. His gaze was fixed to the ocean but his facial features and voice softened in his response, "Nina."

"Why'd you blow me off?" She wasted no time in demanding an explanation.

Ricky let out a sigh, "Nina, this is not a good time." She was enraged, again; the whole week, he'd asked her for a chance to explain himself, texting her every morning and evening. And, now that she was giving him a chance, he blew her off again, citing an excuse of "bad timing". She was ready to unload her rage on him, until she realised he wasn't even standing next to her anymore. She saw Red was sprinting past her toward the ocean for a rescue, and then turned to see Ricky already in the water, swimming toward the child who was struggling. She sighed in defeat, oh well, he was saved by great timing, and headed toward the lifeguard tower to give the coconut water to EJ. He welcomed her with a smile, "Nini, haven't seen you in two weeks, how have you been?"

She gave him a weak smile, "I haven't been feeling the best but I'm here to make up for my absence with these," Nini waved the bag weakly, the weight of the many bottles of coconut water finally having an effect on her.

"Aw, Nins, you're still the most thoughtful girl on this island. Also, I'm throwing a party tomorrow at my house. You gotta come, and please bring Gina with you." Nini didn't know if she should have felt sad or happy that EJ didn't notice her forced smile.

"Now that I'd promised everyone I'd go for parties after I'd turned 18, there is no way Gina is going to let me off the hook anymore. So, I'll be there." She resigned to her fate, once again regretting the promise she'd made. EJ grinned and fist-bumped her excitedly, he couldn't wait for Saturday.

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