Never Say Never

{15} I cared

139 Days More

It's been almost a weekend and I haven't seen Crimes, or Alex. A part of me wanted to apologize, but the other one was recalling all those things I had endured because of him and the fact that I've never heard an apology, a regret, or a regret from him. With that said, why should he listen one from me?

It was Sunday night, I couldn't sleep and that's why I had left my laptop on my bed, trying to write a blog. The people's hate, behind the screen, was increasing. The world was convinced that MissAnonymous was indeed Eva Johnson.

"Unfollow, report and the rest."

"I can't believe that you're that bitch from school."

"I wish people knew what a distorted person you are."

"Hypocrite. You're not even that good."

"I can't get why Alex likes you."

I was scrolling through the comments, but they were endless. Either way, it was a situation I was kind of used to.

'I'm not sure where to start from. There are times you want to hate someone, but every time you find yourself on the edge of the cliff, that person seems to fall first. And then you won't jump because you'll want to give an end to your story, but to save him. Either way, you fall. What I mean is that, it's hard to hate someone you'd swore you love. You can't forget how to ride a bike in one day, so how can you forget your feelings like that? From time to time you start hating yourself, your actions, thinking what someone else would do, someone third, or what your old self would do. The point is, what you're going to do now..'

I wanted to write more, but a sudden vibration of my phone interrupted me. I opened my incoming and saw a message from Alex. Wait. Alex? He texted me, that late at night?

Alex: Are you sleeping?

Why? :Me

Alex: Come down.

In your dreams. :Me

I hurried down the stairs and looked myself on the living room's mirror.

I brushed my brown hair a bit and then looked again at my reflection, facing my horrible appearance. I was wearing my pajamas, my eyes were sleepy and in general, I was not in a condition that I would like him to see me. I sighed in frustration. It's just a decision. I opened the door and went outside.

The cold wind penetrated my body, my skin shuddered, and made me shyly wrap my jacket around me better.

I see Alex standing a few meters away with his cigarette almost being the extension of his hand.

"What do you want?" I approach him.

He scans me from top to bottom. He chuckles.

"Cute." he comments my pajamas.

"Yeah...Thanks." I squint awkwardly and cross my arms feeling insecure.

He then gets serious. He looks me with his intense eyes, that were shining from my yard's light. He takes a puff of his cigarette and let the smoke release slowly from his lips.