Noah's vent/ranting

Ranting -Noah

I feel as if the world around me is crumbling. In my source I had a home, I had a place where I belonged- kind of- but I don't have that anymore now that I'm here. This whole system ordeal is so much to deal with.. it gets frustrating at times, even to the point where I find myself in tears. Everything has gotten so difficult to cope with, and I'm having breakdowns which I haven't really had before, at least not as often. There's so much for me to say but I just can't find the words right now. I'm currently struggling with intrusive thoughts and I'm experiencing things I've never had to deal with prior to being in a system. I feel overloaded and overwhelmed, and I'm constantly tired and drained of my energy. I truly don't mean to sound like I'm comparing but it's all just so much and I don't think I'm able to handle this drastic change. I've also noticed I've overused the word "I" way too much in this already, and I apologize for that. Anyway, I'm just feeling all sorts of disoriented and since coming here I've felt so out of place.
I can't help but wonder that if I disappeared one day, would anyone miss me- or even notice for that matter.
I think I'm done complaining for now.. 😅 if you've read this far, thanks I guess.
-Noah