Remember me (pernico)

Im more than 'that'.

An: prepare for a semi deep chapter😳

Percy

When we got out of the subway after killing th-...come to think of it, I don't even know who she was...the sky was pitch black. The small town looked completely shut down and put to sleep. I was drained from that mini battle and I was almost 100% sure nico was too, considering he shadow travelled. It was probably better that we got some rest now, and continue on our way in the morning. I ran after nico as he walked down the middle of the road, lost in the music blasting through his headphones.

"Hey nico?"

He took off his head phones and looked at me with a annoyed look.

"We should get some sleep, and we'll continue in the morning. Yea?"

He gave me a quick nod, put his headphones back on and turned down a dark alley way. He swung his bag off his shoulders and slumped down against the brick building that surround us. I sat against the opposing wall, propping myself up against my backpack. Nico sat there, looking into the distance and staring up at the stars. He was so close, yet so far. And the silent treatment he gave me, made the slight distance between us feel like we were miles apart. Since Nico didn't seem like he was planning on talking to me anytime soon, I closed my eyes. Thoughts of Annabeth flooded my mind, easing me off into a brighter place than the dark alley I was laying in. Memories of Annabeth and my adventures took over.

Annabeth and I on our first quest with Grover in the car with those three wacky lady's that shared one eye!

The time we got pushed into the water and I blew us an air bubble and we kissed.

When I figured out that she loved Luke.

All the memories started to come back to me. Good and bad. Everything. I started to think about our time in Tartarus. The pain I felt, that she couldn't take away. The hurt she felt, that I couldn't fix. The risks we had to take. The memories and the nightmares that were engraved into my mind. It was almost traumatizing, thinking of her. All the good memories were broken and over taken by everything bad that had happened and the hurt that it made me feel. When I think of Annabeth, I think of all the pain that was suddenly dropped on my shoulders, like I was holding up the sky again. When I think of Annabeth, I think of everyone I could've saved if I did things a little differently. When I think of Annabeth, I think of my heartbreaks...because she was there for all of them. As much as I love Annabeth, she causes me a different type of hurt.

I ripped my eyes open quickly and sat up. I was on the verge of tears from reliving all the memories. Nico was looking at me with concerned eyes.

"Percy? You okay?" He asked softly. He had already paused his music, taken off his headphones and turned to face me.

"I'm not okay nico." I said.

"What's wrong?" He asked hesitantly. Knowing that this was coming from Nico, the boy who doesn't like to talk to anyone, i took this as a chance to speak to him. And this is where everything got deep.

"I'm sick of having everything always resting on my shoulders. I'm sick of being forced to save the world because I was written into a stupid prophecy. I'm sick of not knowing if I'm even going to live. Not that I want to live like this anyway, sometimes I just want to be a normal teenager. I'm sick of everything. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy going on quests and being with my friends. But not when that comes with the cost of having to watch them die." I said. Nico nodded so I continued, ready to open up to him completely. "Nico, I'm scared. I'm scared of all the new faces that pop out of the depths of Tartarus with targets on my back. I'm sick having to make huge decisions that could make or break the whole world. I'm sick of being the reason everyone dies, Nico." My eyes were watering now, but it was so dark I'm not sure if he could even tell. "I'm so sorry Nico. I didn't mean to have Bianca killed. You have to believe me I- I tried my best to protect her. But I wasn't strong enough. Why do the fates think I can do everything on my own. It's too much. One child can't carry the universe. It's all so stupid. I never wanted to be a stupid demigod." Now I was full on crying. My voice was shaky but I kept going. "It's not like I even do anything important. My family comes first, and I can't even be with them. Estelle is growing up without me, I'm losing time with her I'm never going to be able to get back. I miss my mom so much, but I don't like to risk the danger shes in when I visit home. I would fight all of the Titans, single handed, just to see my family again." I could barely breathe now but I wasn't done talking. "And my friends, I can't deal with it all. I've lost so many of them Nico, and all of their deaths were my fault. Micheal Yew, Bianca, Luke. I could've saved them all, they should be here not me. Even Bob! He never got to see the stars! I- I promised him, and AND I BROKE IT. HE DIDNT DESERVE THAT! NONE OF THEM DID. None of them did nico. It's all just too much. I'm just a kid." I sniffled and nico looked at me with sad eyes.