I Almost Do

Chapter 5

"Why do you have a ring...?" my mother asked. She wasn't angry or surprised or anything. It was just a question, but it made me shakier than I already was. She held the ring out towards me, expecting me to take it from her. But I hesitated. Holding the ring again would make me relive the whole relationship, in a span of a few seconds.

I consciencly decided that I had to tell her sooner or later, and I decided sooner. I left the ring on her open palm and she started twirling it in her fingers. "Actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about." I took a seat on the sofa, mentally preparing myself. I patted the seat next to me and she took a seat.

"Um, so, there is- was- a guy named Nick.... " I continued with my story, the same one I told Sadie.

I finally finished and the only word that she spoke was "Oh. "

Tears were overflowing yet again. I quickly swiped at them.

"My baby... " she didn't finish. She wrapped me in a hug. It shocked me, but I eventually gave in, weeping into her shoulder. Each sob shook through my body and she just hugged me tighter.

"I-"

"Shhhhhh," she whispered into my hair, smoothing it down.

"He- he was all I h-had... " I managed in between gasps.

"But now you have me. And you have Sadie. Connie, you're a strong, smart woman, and you don't need a man to define who you are."

"You're right... Mom." I wiped at my tears and smiled weakly. She got a little teary eyed too. She dropped my ring that she was still holding in her grasp and hugged me again. "Okay. That's enough about me. How have you been?"

We chatted some more while she bandaged my wrist. I felt like everything between us was sewn together again, so much that it looked brand new. She kissed my forehead. "Well, I should get going." She walked to the door. I looked at my wrist.

"Thanks again." I smiled and opened the door for her.

"Anything for my daughter."
-------------------------------------------------------

That night, I dreamed some more. Not actual dreams- but scary vivid dreams.

I was surrounded by white walls covered in Polaroid pictures. The kitchen in front of me smelled of burnt toast. Some one was next to me. I realized where I was. I remembered this place like the back of my own hand. Nick's place.

The person next to me touched my shoulder , and that sent a shiver through my body. He stood in front of me now. My eyes flickered across his face. I recognized those deep blue eyes all too well. He ran his calloused fingers across my cheek so lightly, it was ticklish. I involuntarily let out a giggle. He smiled.

"Nick... " I was confused, I knew it, but I couldn't show it. He pressed his palms on the wall behind me, trapping me between his toned arms. I couldn't complain... not that I wanted to.

We had done this many times. On instinct, I tilted my chin upward and leaned forward. At the same time he roughly pressed his mouth against mine, then leaving sloppy kisses along my jawline. I wrapped my arms around his torso, waiting to see what he'd do. I didn't feel guilty or hurt. In fact, I found myself eagerly wanting more, to take this further, to feel his warmth against me.

I pressed my lips to his neck, breathing in his sweet smelling cologne. He lifted my head again and bit his lip, his menacing eyes twinkling with a fire ignited only by passion. I smirked and kissed his lips. I placed my hands on either side of his face and continued kissing him, and he kissed back, pushing me against the wall. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss.

His warm hands slipped down to my waist and under the hem of my shirt, a finger under the waistband of my lace skirt. He pulled away. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

Oh. That actually happened. I was hoping that was all some horrible nightmare, but I guess not. I felt my throat tighten as he continued. "Do you want to try again? Try again with me?"

I felt a sudden wave of disgust rush over me. I reached toward his shoulders to push him away from me. But my hands went right through him. I pulled my hands back, my heart beat getting faster. "Get off." My voice was getting louder. "GET OFF OF ME. I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" I screamed.

I tried pushing him again, and this time my palms hit fabric and Nick stepped away from me. But he was fading. Fading, until it was all gone.

My eyes shot open, this time I wasn't drenched in sweat or crying or anything. I was just confused. I had no idea where that came from.

But the next day, it made sense.

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