I Almost Do

Chapter 2

I opened the door to my own apartment and placed my keys on the kitchen counter. I ran my fingers along the cold granite, and that was when I noticed the ring. The promise ring Nick had given to me a few months ago. It was a plain strip of silver colored metal around my ring finger but at the time I thought it was beautiful. I stared at it some more, deciding what to do with it. I wonder what he did with his... I shook the thought out of my head and stalked to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were swollen and red from crying and... I felt like I was drowning. I glanced around the bathroom as my jacket dropped to the tile floor. Trash bin, body wash, shaving blade... my eyes flickered over the blade longer than I meant for them to. Nope. I looked back at the mirror. I had blue eyes, vibrant like a Hawaiian beach. But also common. People say they really want my eyes. Yeah, I guess they were pretty, but the things they saw weren't.

What did Nick even see in me? I tried not to cry again but I couldn't control myself. The dim light in the bathroom made the pimple on forehead look massive. I don't see it. How could he have wanted to date me? He was super attractive, and that was verified from all the girls throwing themselves at him, and I was just... me.  Maybe it was out of pity. I choked back another sob as I pushed the horrid thought away.

I took one last look at the ring on my finger... and took it off, and put it in the medicine cabinet.

I washed all of the runny makeup off my face and exited to the living room. The brown leather armchair seemed like the only comforting thing in my house so I took a seat in it. I noticed my phone on the glass table in front of me and picked it up. The sudden chill of the phone case made me wonder if I should actually turn it on. But I did anyway. I immediately went to my contacts list. I scrolled past "Mom", but I scrolled back up to it.

My mom and I only talked once since I came back from boarding school when I was sixteen, two years ago. She had given me her number and offered to let me stay with her, but I refused it. But I took the number, just in case. I went and got my own apartment and she was okay with it. I still had never used her number though.

I scrolled to the "S"s and tapped "Sadie", my best friend.

Can you come over?  I sent.

At 11 at night?  She replied.

Plz.

Fine I'll be there in a few minutes.

I put my phone back on the table and rested my head on the back of the armchair. Again, I couldn't help but start weeping. Why couldn't I stop? The salty tears kept rolling down my cheeks and it started to physically hurt.

I turned on another lamp to make the room a bit brighter. The doorbell rang. I quickly dryed my face and twisted the door knob open. There stood a girl with crazy dark brown hair hidden under a knit hat, dark skin, and chocolate brown eyes. Sadie. "Connie!" She then looked at my face. "Oh my god, you look... "

"I know I look horrible, don't rub it in," I tried for a smile, but I guess it came out looking kind of weak.

"What's wrong?" she asked, genuine concern in her eyes and voice. She struggled to close her umbrella and raindrops were flying everywhere. "Can I?" she asked when she quit trying. 

I moved out of the doorway so she could come in with her open umbrella. "Me and Nick...."

"OH MY GOD NO," she yelped before I could finish. "WHY. NO. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED." She plopped onto my couch and took out all the chocolate she had in her purse and gave it to me. She took one piece for herself and started nibbling on it. I told her everything that had happened a few hours. By the end of it all, she had tears in her eyes too. "Are- are you feeling a little better now?" she asked.

I took a breath. "Yeah..... no," I mumbled. "But I'm all cried out."

She inched closer to me and then wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "It's okay, Connie. I know how much he meant to you, and I'll always be here for you." Sadie was honestly the best friend anyone could have. "It's just that you're too forgiving. You need to be more stubborn, you have to sometimes take extreme measures for something you need. Like for your relationship with Nick. You guys have been fighting a lot lately, and today you were stubborn. You got what you needed, what's good for you. It's a major step in improving yourself. I'm proud of you."

"I know." And for the first time that day, I smiled--for real.

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