The Fat Dog Series

The Fat Dog being Cynical

I'm Ace the dog. I am the only dog of Ms. Williams, and life is okay I guess.

When someone hands over the food I bark, "My mom ate this stuff and choked on it--she died."

You may think I'm being cynical, but that is how all things are--the moon orbits the earth, volcanoes erupt, my owner is named Ms. Williams, food can make you die, etc. No one can stop them from happening. Sadly, no one can stop walks from happening either... That's what is happening today. Another nature walk! Walks are supposed to be good for you, but last year, Ms. William's kid fell and broke his leg. Is that good? Well, I have to go anyway!

We're in the car and I heard that if you stick your head out the window, your head could get chopped off if the owner closes the window. I passed by another dog whose head was out of the window.

"Hey you! Why isn't your head out of the window? It feels good!" the other dog barked.

"I heard that if you stick your head out the window, your head could get chopped off if the owner closes the window!" I yapped.

"Well you're really missing out!" the other dog howled.

Strangers are a pain. No one knows caution like I do, and they don't even take my advice!

"Oh look we're here," I stepped out of a car and into a muddy puddle.

"Eww!!" I heard that mud is good for your fur, but it can contain bad bacteria! That is not good. My poor fur! I end up continuing anyway.

We walk and walk until we reach a... railroad!!

"Run!!!" I bark frantically.

There can be a train and even though trains are good they can run you over and you will die!!! I am so lost in my thoughts that I am running towards the train track instead of away. Just then a train comes.

"OH NO!!" I didn't have time to jump off, so I duck. I waited for some impact. No train came.

"That's weird." I then realized that the train stopped just for me!

I guess sometimes it's ok to have some fun, jump in muddy puddles, run on train tracks, and eat puppy chow. This proved it. I admit I was a little cynical, but the lesson is learned! You don't always have to be so cautious. Well, I guess it's more cynical...