A Selfless Sacrifice - A Niam Horayne Story *ON HOLD*

Chapter 5

A/N: Heyy guys! :) I've been getting request to change it up to POVs now both on twitter and here but i'm not sure cause it's weird to go from diary entries to POVs but i'll see.

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A Selfless Sacrifice

Chapter 5

Niall’s Diary Entry 5

15/09/12

Hello Diary!

Well, I’m still writing this from the hospital. It’s a Saturday today and I have now been 18 for two days. I kind of feel sorry for all the nurses around here helping me out. I just can’t help but brag about how I’m 18 and the things that I’m going to do. Each and every one of them are practically sick of me and I overheard one nurse talking to the head doctor virtually pleading for him to change her shift so she wouldn’t have to put up with me. Of course she didn’t say that but I know she meant it.

Although there is still one person who is listening to me, but it’s not a nurse. It’s the person I thought I would never have one proper conversation with in my life. It’s the person that I have despised and hated, but loved all at the very same time. You’ve probably figured it out by now. Liam Payne. It was last night a few hours after our brief but pleasant conversation. I was just lazing about in my room when I heard a soft knock at the door. I called out loudly allowing the anonymous person to enter. I expected it to just be a nurse so disregarded the person. Then he coughed hoping to get my attention. I looked up exasperatingly at the person letting them know that they had interrupted my video game. But it wasn’t a nurse it was Liam. I instantly smiled giddily then quickly covered my mouth attempting to wipe the smile of my face. I signalled for Liam to sit at my bed and silently, he did so. We sat there awkwardly for a few second before Liam broke the ice.

“So how’s your leg” He asked me, as he pointed down at my cast covered leg. I was surprised by his… well, niceness.

“Yeah ok I guess. It’s really sore and irritating cause I can’t move properly but oh well, can't do anything about that now can I?.” He seemed pleased with that answer and we sat in silence for another few minutes.

I sat there wanting to ask him a question that had been plaguing me since our first ‘real’ conversation. But I was scared that Liam would lash out. I thought about it again and decided to ask him anyway.

“So Ummmm, I know this is kind of personal but Ummmm, what’s wrong with your mum? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to though”

 I instantly regreted asking the question because in that moment Liam’s eyes filled with tears. I apologised and he shook his head slightly signalling that it was ok. I felt so sorry for him. My feelings were confused. One day I hate him the next day I like him. It still confuses me writing this. He finally spoke and I listened intently but tried not to make it obvious. Don’t think I did a very good job though.

“Ummmm you see. A few years ago my mum started to get sick a lot. At first she just ignored it, she thought it was nothing. Then over time she started to get worse. It was hard for me having to see her that way but I went along with her thoughts and passed it over. On the outside I put on a brave face but I knew that slowly my mother was dying right in front of my eyes. Her condition slowly deteriorated. Then my grades started dropping. I became more reckless I went from a grade A student to a failure. It was hard for my mum to see me like that. She blamed herself. Then we found out she had cancer. It was the worst type though. Doctors had never seen such a bad case. I knew I only had a small amount of time left with her.”

A single tear rolled down my cheek and Liam’s soft hand wiped it away. When Liam wiped away the tear, his shirt lifted slightly. I gasped. Scars. I had seen them before but never like that.

Multiple scars lay on his tan skin around his hip area. They were all different … dark, light, small, big, long and short. I was staring, shocked and confused and then he noticed. He quickly retreated his out-stretched arm to his sides rushing to cover it up with the navy blue fabric of his t-shirt pressing his hand on top of his shirt. I remember him mumbling something under his breath, his eyes wide. I couldn’t pick up on the words he said but before I could even process everything, he was heading towards the door.

“No! Liam, wait!” I shouted finally realising that he was leaving.

I remember him continuing to storm off, ignoring what I said at the time. That is the explanation to why I need a nurse to check up on me like every 3 seconds.

I followed him. I jumped out of the hospital bed wincing from the pain in my leg. But I didn’t care, I didn’t stop. I hopped towards the door, knocking over whatever it was and headed straight to the corridor. I recall his distant figure. One hand on his hip where the scars were pressing down on it and the other probably used to wipe away the tears. I knew I couldn’t catch up to him, not with one leg anyway. So I just slumped down against the wall letting the tears stream down my face.

I stayed there for what seemed like forever. I felt someone carry me up and place me back into my lumpy bed. But I didn’t know who that someone was. That would have been the only moment where I hated to be a deep sleeper. All I remember of the person was that it was for sure not a female and wasn’t my brother as he left to go out of town. It was someone with a familiar scent but I can’t make out who it was. Familiar enough for me to recognise next time, but not familiar enough for me to remember now.

I’ve got a whole conversation with myself and Liam all planned out in my head but who knows when I’ll next see him. What if he hates me again the next time? What if he decides to hurt me again? What if this was all a joke and he was just pretending to be nice to me?

But for now, it’s getting late now so I think I should go.

Ohh wait, before I do, it was a fruity-lemon scent. Hmm… fruity-lemon scent, I still can’t remember who that could be but anyway, BYE FOR NOW!

Niall Horan