Cross my heart - Tommy Shelby

•18•

Warnings: swearing

"Fuck this." Eliza groaned, "I hate being sick."

It really wasn't how she planned her morning to go- bent over on her knees, cheek pressed up against the toilet bowl and acidic bile crawling up her throat.

"I hate this." She spoke again. It was true she hated being sick- it reminded her of too many negative experiences.

Sickness reminded her of two main things. How ill her mother was in the weeks leading up to her death. And the amount of weakness that Eliza remembered feeling when she was injured and sick in the rehabilitation house.

She gagged as more vomit splashed into the toilet, "Did I mention that I-"

"Hate this?" John butted in, "Yeah only 5000 times."

Eliza could tell that John was acting different, he had a look in his eyes and an expression on his face that showed he was thinking deeply (Something that they always joked about not happening that often.)

But before she could ask about what was on his mind, she promptly lurched over the toilet bowl and emptied the rest of the contents in her stomach into the loo.

She felt John holding her hair away from her face, and rubbing her back soothingly.

Eliza, although thankful for her friends actions, wished more than anything that it could have been Tommy that stood in John's spot.

But Tommy had gone to the races with Grace, Arthur and a few of the other Peaky boys.

She wouldn't lie, but the sight of Tommy leaving her room that morning to go and pick up Grace made her stomach lurch with jealousy.

No matter how many times the notorious gang leader reassured her that he was still "seeing her" strictly for business purposes only.

But Eliza couldn't help but feel doubt, she knew Grace was a pretty girl- some days she felt as if she wasn't enough compared to the blonde.

Her jealousy and self doubt was eating her up inside- and it really didn't help with her nausea.

"Liza?" John's voice was small. Something that was completely out of character for him to be.

Eliza was used to John being boisterous, loud and cocky.

But rarely did she see him be small or nervous or even particularly remotely serious. Not unless there was something wrong.

"Something wrong- you're never like this." Eliza croaked.

John visibly gulped and took a deep breath, "Liza you've been ill for almost 2 weeks." He lingered slightly, "that's not normal."

Eliza frowned slightly under his gaze, "I probably have the flu," she laughed nervously, "It's not a big deal."

He just sighed again, "Liza I'm known as the dumb Shelby- and even I know you don't have the flu."

Eliza rolled her eyes, "Well I'd like to see you come up with a better diagnoses."

"No Eliza you don't understand!" He looked as if he was getting frustrated, "I've had a wife and 4 kids yea'?"

She nodded, "Right- and...?"

John ran a hand through his hair, "and that means I'm familiar with what morning sickness looks like."

"What the hell are you implying!" Eliza stood up from her place on the floor. The world spun for a second but she soon felt her feet plant firmly on the bathroom floor.