Why?

18

I get home from work and go upstairs, and he's playing video games on the Xbox.

"Hey." I say as I walk through the door.

"Hey baby." He says as I set my stuff down. He turns off the Xbox, and lays down on the bed.

"What've you been doing?" I ask as I sit down.

"Just watching tv and playing games. I'm gonna sleep for a little bit before I have to go to work." He says as he lays his head down on the pillow. "If I'm not up for work, wake me up."

"Ok."

After he's asleep, I go downstairs to get something to eat. I cut up a cucumber and put the slices in a bowl cover it with shredded cheddar cheese and then some ranch no one is home, or at least downstairs, so I sit on the couch to eat. After I finish eating, I go back upstairs and get my iPad.

A couple hours pass by, mindlessly on my iPad and I decide to watch something on Netflix. As I'm watching, I slowly start to drift off, I jump up trying to keep myself awake so I can wake him up for work.

"Goddamnit!" Yelling wakes me up out of the sleep I hadn't realized I fell into. "You were supposed to wake me up damnit!"

"I fell asleep, I'm sorry."

"I'm a half hour late to work!" He yells at me as he throws something across the room. He stands up and grabs his bag, wallet, and keys. "Goddamnit Sarah!" He yells at me, before walking out the door, slamming it on his way out.

I jump as the door slams shut, and try to calm the panic attack I was having. I wipe my face not realizing that I had tears starting to cascade down my cheeks. Once my breathing becomes more regular I go downstairs.

"Hey honey." I hear as I get to the bottom of the steps.

"Hey."

"What was his problem?"

"I was supposed to wake him up for work but I fell asleep." I say looking down.

"He was yelling like that at you?"

"Yep.." He tends to lose his temper it gets kinda scary but he's never hit me before.

"You don't deserve that." He says empathetically.

"I was supposed to wake him up." I say.

"He didn't have to freak out like that."

"I made him late to work."

"He shouldn't yell at you, why didn't he just set an alarm?"

"He always sleeps through it."

"You want some alcohol."

"Yes please.." I say as I grab my keys.

We get some Mikes harder lemonade, and I am soon very intoxicated. I find myself sitting on the balcony and Mark walks out.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm ok." I lie.

"Mind if I sit?" He gestures to the spot next to me.

I pat the seat telling him to sit and he does. He lights a cigarette, and looks at me.

"What's wrong? What did he do?"

"He called me."

"What? When?"

"When I was staying at my parents house."

"What happened?" He asks, clearly confused.

"He admitted to everything. To the rape and everything." I say as I take a drink.

"Oh my god, what did you say?"

"He was really upset, and he said he was sorry and he never wanted to lose me-"

"So you forgave him?"

"I didn't forgive him, but I tried to comfort him."

"Why would you do that for him when he won't do anything for you!"

"He loves me, and I love him I just wanted to make him feel better."

"If he loves you he wouldn't force you to do anything!"

"He said he'll never hurt me again."

"Well, lets see how that goes." He says somewhat positively.

After that we sit in silence for a little while. Eventually we had some conversation and started making things less awkward. Eventually it was around 3am and we both decided to go to bed, I walked upstairs while he laid down on the couch. When I got to our room I walked in and shut the door behind me, then I walked over to the bed and laid down. I hoped that tomorrow would be better as I drifted off to sleep.

A/N:

Sorry it took so long to update if anybody is reading this. It's been harder to write this book than I thought, promise more updates soon! If anyone is reading this please make sure to vote comment and like if you want to!

Shout out to DisappointedElephant for commenting, liking and voting on almost every chapter! You're support really helps!!