Road Trip with Vampires: one star, would not recommend.

Back off, she's got a sword

They hadn't planned to be discovered so soon by a museum director and his estranged son. But it had come to this, and they had two options: stay and convince the two poor humans, or run like hell.

Since Esther had lost a screw in her prosthetic leg, Zhenya had to employ his limited charisma to persuade the humans that they did not see what they saw. It was proving difficult. 

'No, really! That wasn't a real corpse you saw us drinking from. It's a, um... Halloween decoration! And we have a thing for Halloween decorations!'

The son snorted derisively, adjusting his grip on the life-size bust of George Washington he was carrying. 'Three weeks from actual Halloween? Jeez, these goth kids are getting out of hand.'

Esther leaned on Nix, trying to keep her leg from falling apart. 'Yep, that's what who we are! Out-of-control goth kids!' She gave a nervous laugh and staggered, toppling Nix over. She stood up again, trying to smile as innocently as possible. It proved difficult with the fangs. The father returned the favour, keeping his lips in a grimace.

'There's no need to get aggressive, people⁠—'

'They aren't people,' said the son. 

'Can you stop? And madams, sir, you'll have to excuse my son here. He's a little... over-excited⁠—'

'I am not, dad! Stop telling people I can't control⁠—'

'So anyway,⁠—' He shifted the weight of the bust onto his hip, 'What do you say we go for some tea?'

'Yes, please,' said Zhenya, and in a whisper, 'British.' Fortunately, the father didn't hear, and continued his courageous attempt to smile.

'You can stay over at our place, and, maybe prove what you've been saying to us for the past few minutes?'

Zhenya considered that. 'Well, skip that part and I'll drink your tea.'

'No negotiations. It's a package deal.'

'Then we don't want it.' He grabbed Nix and Esther and started trying to move away. 'It's⁠— It's been great knowing you and all, but we need to get back to... stuff.'

'Like that corpse fetish?'

'Shut up,' said the father.

If Nix could sweat, she would have. She considered the way she solved all her problems: with a sword, preferably with some kidnapping involved. But she didn't have a sword.

Or did she?

Now that she had moved to the side, she could see more clearly what the son was holding in his other hand. It was long, it was shiny, and it was pointy. 

Nix dropped Esther, ignoring her sound of protest, and grabbed the sabre.

'Thanks,' she said, examining the blade.

When Esther started biting her ankles, she knew she had fucked up big time.

The father dropped the bust, which fell onto the son's toes. He howled and started swearing.

'Now, I wanted to be decent with you, but you⁠— ' He pointed a finger at Nix, trying very hard to make her brain work, '⁠— I never expected you to be a thief, but there you are! Betraying my trust... millennials these days... '

'I'm probably older than you,' mumbled Nix, loud enough for the father to hear. He put his hands on his hips, a triumphant smile curling his mouth. 

'See! William, I told you they weren't human!'

'It was my idea but okay,' said William, still trying to move the bust from his foot. 

Zhenya was looking like he just dropped a cheeseburger into a drain. He looked rather upset. Nix wondered why. Maybe it had something to do with the sword.