Interpreting the Signs

Coffee for Two

"I made breakfast." It was his usual line, but it sounded bitter in her ears that morning. She played along and sat at the kitchen table where a cup of fresh black coffee was waiting for her. She smelled the toasts and him. She was used to this. It was familiar. Why couldn't she say yes, then?

She could still do it. She hadn't said no either. But there was an awkwardness in the air that told her everything had already changed. Two lives forever changed by the silence of an unexpected brief impulsive moment.

He extended the same courtesy by eating his toasts in absolute silence. She smelled her coffee. It smelled like security and memories and family. He gave her that. She could have it forever. If she could just say yes.

She took a zip, oblivious of his presence and the fact that he was studying her every move. Trying to get a sense of what was going through her mind, while she continued to slip away from what they had.

It was the timing. She still couldn't figure out what had prompted her to quit her job at the UN. She still needed to understand what was happening to her. She felt she didn't know who she was anymore. How could she be someone's wife when she didn't know who she was. Would he still love her once she discovered that? Would she?

Her thoughts were interrupted by his getting out. As he was passing by her, his hand pressed her shoulder gently.

"Will you think about it, Sam?"

He didn't wait for her reply. He left for work, but it felt as if he was leaving for good. She took another zip, still staring into the emptiness in her life. She was startled by the phone. It was a message from Chief Carlson; he needed her to assist in the questioning of a witness. The consultancy was all she had left now, so she'd go. It felt good to help out. She'd have to ponder on this later, though deep down she already knew she could not say yes. Not at this time. This was her time.

She typed "I'll come over right away." And she hurried the rest of the coffee while picking up her purse and car keys. The empty cup would be there in the kitchen table when she came back, a reminder of her solitude when he was not there.