Crazy?

Chapter 16:The war

Danielle's POV

We all followed Jake to possibly our death but it seems like that didn't matter. As we walk I remember I saw Jake talking to his brother but I also saw him staring at me...I wonder what they were talking about and I'm wondering why he was staring at me.

"Are you ready for this?" TN came next to me and asked.

"I guess."

"It's ok you know?"

"What is?"

"To be afraid. To be scared. At one point everybody is"

"But I've been afraid my whole life." She looked at me but before she could say anything Jake told us that it was time...it was time to die.

***
An hour later we walked into the palace trying to be as quiet as possible but that didn't work out that well. The guards saw us and everything went so fast. I heard the alarm first, then I saw people fighting one another, then I saw blood everywhere...I couldn't handle it. It feels like a dream, it feels like I'm a little kid again and I can see my mother dead on the floor...I feel like I'm going to pass out.

I feel someone pull me away...away from my mother...away from my father and brother. I can hear myself crying and screaming for my mother. I try to get away...I try to go back. This is all a bad dream and someone is pulling me into a van and driving me away...away into a cell...a cell to rot for the rest of my life. For me to think that something is wrong with me. For me to think no one wants me...

I hear a voice trying to tell me to focus but all I can see is tears...when I finally come back to reality I'm on the floor crying while Jake is hugging me with my head on his shoulder. I don't know how I ended up here and I don't know what happened but I can't breath.

"Shhhhh, its ok Danielle just breath" Jake is rocking me back and forth in his arms. I try to regulate my breathing.

"That's it...deep breaths in and out" I do as he says and I feel a little better. I look around and see my father and brother looking at me with worried expressions and Diana and Yasameen keeping guard. Once they look at me they also have concerned looks on there face. I feel bad...I haven't had this in a while...but the killing and the screams brought me back to it all, brought me back to my mother's death and I hate it. I want to scream...I want to tell them I'm fine but I can't. I feel helpless, like I'm in a hole I can't get out of.

"Its ok I got you" Jake whispered in my ear. Half of me wanted to believe him but the other half knew better. I know when this is all over what we have won't matter and to him maybe it never did.

I need to be brave and not just for them but for myself because in the end I will be alone and no one will be able to help me but me.

I stood up because I didn't want them to think of me as weak, but I know that I am far from it. I know that I am strong...how else would I have survived all those years in prison...all those years by myself.

" I'm fine. What do we do now?" I tried not to look at anyone in particular because I know they will see right through me.

"We move forward" Jake said...I know he's looking at me. He doesn't believe my lie I can feel it.

"Ok then let's go" Diana said and started walking with Yasameen with my dad and brother following them.

Jake touched my arm making me look at him and asked "are you sure?"

I looked right back at his beautiful blue eyes and said "Are you?" And walked away from him because I know where this road ends and its not an happy ending...