Imperfect Perfection

☆chapter 9☆

(AUTHOR'S NOTE)

sorry for taking so long to update, we've been slammed with school work :(

~

Black. All Jin could see was black. A slight pain became obvious in the back of his head.

Why?

Why did his head hurt?

The slurred speech of panicked people pierced through his ears, forming a shapeless blur of words and sounds inside his hazy mind.

~Jin~

~Do you hear me~

~Jinnie?~

His eyes snapped open, the sheer white from the walls sickened his senses a little. Before him stood a young lady in a white jacket with a clipboard in her hand; her facial expressions looked soft and caring, yet unknown. Behind her, the male could distinguish two (still somewhat blurry) figures- one that resembled Namjoon and the other who seemed to be Jungkook. As far as his unclear vision could tell, worry seemed to stain both their features as they stared at him attentively.

Seokjin slowly sat up, taking a quick glance at his surroundings- a hospital room, that's where he was . "W-what happened?" the older boy uttered, clearly still confused.

"You fainted, Hyung. One moment you were recommending me drinks and the next you were... on the ground" Namjoon said, his eyebrows knitted together in a seemingly permanent frown. Jin's face turned white.

The last events from several hours before rushed through his headspace in distant, imprecise flashbacks: the date, the music, the panic attack.

His head spun with the amount of information suddenly thrown at him. Though, it hadn't been happening too frequently, Seokjin was somewhat used to this feeling- it all starts with the triggering factor; then, his hands start to sweat profusely, his entire body becomes shaky, his breath becomes uneven and his lips turn dry, and that is when he feels all of his self control slip through his fingertips. It all goes away in a matter of seconds just like that. His vision gets foggy, and so does his brain: every single thing suddenly turns into nothing but a faint outline of a shadow. The shadows seem to hunt him, to come for him.

And that's when it all turns sheer black.

The worst part of this whole saga might probably be when he wakes up- usually lying in a bed or a hospital room- with worried faces and unknown figures surrounding him. That's when he knows he has failed once again: he failed to control his emotions, his body, his mind. Guilt and shame melt into his self deprecating thoughts as his mind turns into this bitter, overthinking mess.

Don't get him wrong- he's not all melancholic and shit. Seokjin has never been one to just constantly drown himself in self pity and wait for somebody to save him, he was actually quite the opposite: always bright and confident, frequently looking for new experiences and emotions. Yet, he still had his demons. The ones that were continuously haunting the very back of his mind and thoughts, and that would eventually take over his head without his consent.

Seokjin's eyes suddenly met with Namjoon's overly worried look. Fuck, Namjoon wasn't supposed to find out about his panic attacks. He wasn't supposed to find out about anything. It was their first date, and he already managed to ruin things. Now the male would surely demand an explanation- one which Seokjin obviously owned him.

"Jin, are you ok?" questioned Jungkook. The boy knew about Seokjin's panic attacks seen as he's one of the aforementioned's closest friends. The younger would help him through such tough times- hence, the hospital staff were quite familiarized with both of them and often call Jungkook whenever an unconscious Seokjin got admitted into the hospital. Jungkook was surprised, though, to say the least, when he found out that Namjoon was the one that brought in Jin, but the destructive boy was in such panic that Jungkook didn't have the heart to ask why.

"Hey, Seokjin. I'm glad you're awake already. Your head is probably still exhausted from the wave of emotions and adrenaline that you're body went through, so you need to get some rest, ok? You had one of your attacks again, but I won't bother you with any sort of medical explanation, as I know you already know the drill by now. Just lay back down and try to relax. If you need anything, call me or one of the staffs" The young lady said sweetly, a warm smile plastered on her rosy lips.

"Thank you... And y-yeah, I'm fine, Jungkook. Can I, uhm... Talk to Joonie for a second, please?" Muttered Jin. Jungkook raised his eyebrows at the unforeseen nickname and side smiled ever so slightly: he was so going to need an explanation about all of this from both parties when all this fuss came to an end. Nonetheless, he stepped away from the bed, walking towards the door of the room.

"Of course, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone" Jungkook winked at Namjoon before leaving the room with the nurse. Namjoon and Jin's cheeks flushed red at the younger's words.

Jin sighed, ducking his head down and staring at his palms. "I'm sorry, I ruined our date" he muttered in a guilty tone, unable to meet the other's gaze.

Namjoon frowned. "Don't feel bad, it really is not that big of a deal: you just fainted"

(please keep in mind that Namjoon has no idea how to deal with this type of situation and he doesn't really know what happened, so he will say ignorant things during the story. There shall be character development though, so dw).

Those words surely did not make Jin feel any better about the situation. To him, it somewhat seemed like the date didn't matter to Namjoon- like he didn't really matter to him. Panic spread over the younger's face when he saw the dejected look that the older wore "But I-I would, uhm, love to maybe um go on another date sometime, I... really enjoyed this one, you know? Except for the hospital part. This place is kind of intimidating. Plus, I have literally knocked over three of those utensil drawer kinda thingies and shattered a glass of water. Fuck, I'm rambling, sorry" Namjoon scratched the back of his neck. A smile spread over Jin's plump lips, he cooed at the younger's cuteness.

"I would love to go on another date with you" Jin said sweetly. The other's slurred words kind of gave him a sense of relief over the fact that the male seemed to be avoiding to talk about the panic attack. He was tired and had no desire to explain the situation to the younger boy.

"The doctor said that you could leave in 30 minutes or so. I would offer to drive you home... but I can't drive" Namjoon mumbled lowering his head in shame.

Jin laughed as he rubbed his tired eyes and Namjoon smiled to himself. He found himself gradually growing fond of Jin's laughter. It was absolutely adorable how he would hit himself as he laughed. Plus, it kinda sounded like a wind shield whipper, but in the best way possible.

Seokjin calmed down a bit before looking at Namjoon with a wide smile on his face "It's ok, I can drive you home if you want"

The younger blushed "Thank you, Hyung. Sorry for being a burden"

Jin just rolled his eyes "you are not a burden, Joonie. I offered to drive you home. I didn't have to do it, I wanted to. And hey, I'm the one who should be consoled right now" He said, mock-offended.

Namjoon chuckled and peered at the male's soft irises. Their gazes remained locked for a moment, both of them too caught up in each other's presence to move. There seemed to be this slight, almost unnoticeable warmth spreading through the room, casually engulfing both of them and somehow bringing them together.

The sweet moment, however, was abruptly ruined when Jungkook bursted threw the door. "Yo, old man, can you drive me home?"

(AUTHOR'S NOTE)

Ok, so it might seem like the relationship is moving pretty fast. Remember that they have no past history, nothing is stopping them from liking each other (yet). They both know that they have some attraction towards each other, they are not exclusive and aren't together, they are just going on dates to see if the attraction will evolve into something else.

Also the story gets pretty dark from here on out, please read with caution.

Thank you for taking some time to read this, we really appreciate it~ (๑>◡<๑)

-freya and ela