I woke up this morning to someone shaking me wide awake. I opened my eyes seeing my mom there. I tried tiredly flipping the other way, with my eyes still closed.
"Y/n, honey wake up." She started rubbing my shoulder, "I know these past couple weeks has been hard for you but your friends are here too see you. Please honey get up, there here for support."
I felt like breaking down into tears. This pain is eating me alive.
I heard shuffling into my room and my moms presence leave my side. I turned back the other way and sat up seeing Clay, Jessica, Justin, Zach. All my 'former' friends is what I like to call them and then there's Ani along with them.
"Hey." Justin spoke.
I couldn't make eye contact with them.
"We missed yo-
"Stop." I said closing my eyes to prevent me from crying, squeezing them tight.
"Why are you guys here?" I swept my feet over the bed, letting them hang there. I kept my hands in my lap finally looking at each and every one of them. So disappointed and disgusted.
"I'll be the first to say I'm sorry." Ani spoke.
Are you kidding me? Is this girl being serious right now? Just by looking at her face I can tell she doesn't mean that apology, which makes my blood boil even more.
"Are you joking? 'I'm sorry' that's all you have to say! Your the fucking reason the love of my life is dead." My voice cracked at the last part and the tears start falling. "You all are the reason Montgomery is dead! Maybe he did deserve to go to prison but not death. Yeah he raped Tyler, Monty got sent to jail, that's what he deserved but not to get murdered in there. He did not murder anyone. We all know who killed Bryce, and he's not even here to own up to the fucking fact that it was him and not Montgomery."
I stood up walking over to them but keeping my distance. I stood right in front of Jess.
"How would you feel if Justin was murdered for something he didn't do?"
I spoke as cold as ice. No emotion and no more tears left to cry.
"I hate all of you. And I hope you all feel like shit for making me feel like shit for these past couple weeks."
"And still nothing to say why did you all even come?" That's when Clay stepped forward.
"Y/n.... I know nothing I can say can make you forgive me. But I am so so sorry, I know how it feels to lose someone you love-
"Then why put me through it?" I asked, eyes becoming glossy once again.
"Now get the fuck out, all of you."
1 week later
One week later of still no healing from my boyfriends loss. It just feels like I'm reliving the same day everyday, the same painful, depressing day.
I miss Montgomery so much. It hurts me when I think about him, but I can't stop thinking about him. I feel dead without him. I feel empty without him.
My depression is the reason why I'm not attending school right now. I have no friends anymore. Me not going to school has made me lose my spot on the cheer team as captain, but what's the point because I'm not cheering Monty on. I can never do that again.
Thanks to my 'friends.' I hate them and I never thought I would because just 4 weeks ago I loved them so much. Things changed over a few weeks though, people change and not for the better.
Today I'm going back to school. The only reason for that is because the fucking school keeps sending truancy letters to my home.
But currently, right now my dad is driving me to school. I haven't had any real conversations with my parents. They know what's going on though, and they know that Montgomery is dead. They don't know the real truth though.
"If your in the mood you can hang out with your friends after school." My dad turned to me, parked in front of Liberty. I still kept my gaze outside of the window.
"I'm never in the mood, but have a good day dad." Almost immediately when I exited the car, all eyes feel upon me giving me some anxiety.
Usually I would be walking into this horrible place with Monty, he always made me feel safe even when other people didn't see it.
I walk down the halls of Liberty High School, getting goosebumps seeing from the corner of my eye, in the distance that my former friends were staring at me. I lowkey felt like a bad bitch catching everyone's attention.
Flashback
"Give me your hand."
"My hand? Why my hand?" I asked confusingly.
"Uhh I don't know maybe because your finally my girlfriend and I want to hold your hand while we walk down these hallways and let everyone know your mines." He ended his last sentence with kissing me, grabbing the sides of my face and depending the kiss.
"Oh yeah huh?" I laughed out loud as we walked down the halls.
"God babe you can be so dumb." He smiled.
"Maybe but you still love me." I said making eye contact with Monty.
I smiled, a pained smile. Standing at my locker looking where that incident took place at, just a few feet away.
I miss him so much.
And being here at this school is such a horrible place because this is where we made most of our memories together.
My eyes started watering as I kept thinking about all the memories. And my bottom lip started quivering.
I seen someone in a blue jersey walking over to me which made everything worser because that's the last thingy Monty wore before I last saw him.
"Hey hey hey, Y/n?"
"Charlie, I can't breath. I can't breath."
"Oh god, okay okay it's okay, just calm down."
"I don't wa-nna be h-here." I managed to get out.
"Okay okay, lets go uhh to the field."
He walked us down the hall, passing our friends. With his arms wrapped around me, keeping his stare on me and in front of us.
We finally made it too the bleachers, Charlie's comforting words helping me through my panic attack.
"I know this is a dumb question, but I'm concerned... are you okay?" He asked rubbing my lower back as I sat next too him.
I kept my stare at our shoes.
"Charlie,"
"Yeah?" He wiped my falling tears.
"I miss him so much."
