Comatose

Antiquities of the Mind

Chapter 11

Angelica decided it would be best to start with the earlier years. If it was something she lost, it only stood to reason that she would see it in her youth. Obviously, she would have to pay closer attention to the different versions of herself then she had been. While she wasn't sure how much time she would have everything would have to be looked at. Not just herself but those around her as well. Angelica prepared herself to take in as much as possible not really knowing what observations would help her later on.

She had already visited her ballet class and she was sure that the classes would all be similar. She was having a hard time deciding where to start. If she could see a compilation of her earlier years at once that might help. An idea came to mind that brought a smile to her face and a sly smirk on the face of her doppelganger.

"Now that, is an interesting thought." Her other self stated before fading away. The white fog rolled past her as if a strong gust of wind were pushing it along. Angelica felt no such phantom breeze causing a shiver at the unsettling sight.

As the new scene settled around her Angelica looked around in awe. She found herself standing in the middle of the living room of her childhood home. It wasn't exactly any specific time as she had wanted to see a compilation of everything. It was more like an abandoned museum of everything she once had. No one but Angelica was in this new place as it never actually existed as it did now in her mind. Growing up as she had gotten into new things or made new accomplishments, the old was replaced with the new. Here however it was all on display. At least the ones that were the most important to her were.

Angelica walked over to a set of wooden shelves that set prominently against the front wall. The available space was covered in ribbons and awards she had gotten over the years. Some were for dance and some were for athletics. There were even a few for academics, though those were few and mostly hidden by the rest. Angelica chuckled as she thought that even here, she had arranged them to what she had enjoyed most. Clearly school wasn't it. Placed among the various ribbons, trophies, and certificates were candid shots taken of her and the people around her over the years. Each corresponded with memories that were clear and more meaningful then the others. There was a photograph of her in one of the ballet performances she participated in. Angelica laughed while looking at it. Most of the other little dancers were in sync. Some weren't quite together in their moves, but by the stances caught in the one scene she could tell it was just that they were a little late to hit the move. Angelica however was doing the movement in her own way and while it was similar it had her special flair added in. Even dressed in the same costumes as all the other girls on that stage she still stood out among them.

She moved on to another one where she was maybe a couple years older. She stood front and center in the picture displaying her finds. The kids around her had flowers and sparkly rocks in their hands. Angelica however was downright caked in muck as she proudly showed off her large toad to the camera. The other children stood a bit back from her sharing looks of uncertainty among them. As filthy as the little girl in the front was, she was the only one beaming a bright smile. She remembered that day with fondness. The class was taken on a nature walk for their science class. The teacher had been pointing things out along the way for the children to observe and learn from. Most of the little girls had been distracted by the flowers and butterflies they came across on their walk. The teacher had allowed them each to bring something back with them that caught their eye. Angelica was sure that living creatures had not been what the teacher had been expecting. However, there had been no stopping her when they had come across a creek bed and the croaking had caught her ear. As some of the children were gathering snail shells and rocks, she had wandered around until she had found what was making the noise. She hadn't even thought twice when the thing had leapt to a rock in the middle of the small creek. Angelica had bounded in after it, falling into the muck in her haste. That hadn't deterred her and by the end of the ordeal she had herself a new pet. Well, more like the classroom pet as her mother had refused to let her bring it home.

Moving to the next shelf she saw it was her high school track awards. She had had so much fun traveling to different schools and competing. She had learned that she was quite competitive when it came to sports. In one of the pictures her and some of her friends that were on the team with her held up their ribbons for display. Bright smiles shown from each of them no matter what place they had gotten. They were all pressed together posing for the camera just having fun together. As Angelica's eyes moved from picture to picture, she could see many of them showed a similar scene. There were a few that showed each of them competing in their events. A lot of her friends had enjoyed running whether it was dashes, hurdles, or relays. That had never been her thing though. Angelica had been drawn towards the high jump and then pole vaulting. She had loved the feel of the wind rushing past her as she vaulted. What she loved most about it though was the singular moment where she would sail over the bar. For that one moment when she defied gravity she flew. It had been the most amazing sensation in the whole world to her.

Angelica's smile dampened a bit as her eyes moved to the next picture over. She didn't know if she could touch anything here, but she felt the need to hold this one. Reaching out, her fingers gently grazed along the solid wood frame as she released the breath she had been holding. Lightly she picked it up carefully supporting it with both her hands as she brought it closer. At the meet in the picture she had won first in her event and had been over the moon. Her fingers danced over the glass softly touching the couple as if she could caress the very memory they stood in. Trent had brought a single red rose with them to the meet to give to her after she competed. She remembered asking him what he would have done with it if she hadn't won first place. He had smiled at her and told her he would have given it to her anyway for trying her best. In the picture she was holding the rose in one hand and her medal in the other as her arms were wrapped around his neck. His arms were wrapped around her too as he had lifted her from the ground in celebration. It had been one of the best days of that year. Then again, a lot of the days she spent with Trent were some of the best ones in her high school memories. She had forgotten that after their breakup. The memories at that point had become tainted with the colors of teenage heartbreak. As she set the picture back upon the shelf, she found herself wishing that she hadn't allowed them to remain that way for so long.

Angelica crossed her arms around herself as she backed away from the shelf. She had seen everything that she was going to get from the downstairs. Turning away she headed over to the wooden staircase. Her hand on the banister Angelica's foot hesitated as it hovered over the first step. She glanced up to the second floor bracing herself for what she would find. Releasing the breath she'd been holding, she began to walk up the stairs. Along the wall heading up were a smattering of family portraits as well as school pictures of Angelica. She cringed as she gazed at them. While the child that slowly grew older as she walked exuded mischief no matter how she posed, it was clear that she had no fashion sense at all. The younger pics wore stripes and polka dots. Clashing colors also assaulted her eyes. A few even had diagonal striped pants with horizontally striped tops. She was glad once she reached the late teen pics as her clothing style toned down to jeans and simple tops. Many of them had some kind of logo, rock band, or funny saying on them, they were less neon in color. By the time she had reached the college years her style changed yet again to more neutral colored leggings with over sized tops. Making her look slightly sloppier in appearance, but at least she couldn't be seen from a block away. By the time she had made it to the top of the stairs the she had come to the end of the pictures as well. They had spanned from her toddler years all the way up to right before she had gotten married. Angelica had to wonder if her mother planned it that way or if she had just run out of room. One curious thing she had noticed was that not only had her clothing become more toned down but so had her personality. The first photographs depicted a precocious child smiling impishly at the camera. No matter if it was a family photo or just a school pic there was a vivacious spark that shone from her eyes and a natural glow about her face. While the teen years showed a more restrained fashion and her hair was no longer wild and unruly, the spark and the glow had remained.

In fact, it wasn't until the pictures right before the end of the stairs that that had changed. She did appear more mature at that point since she was a young adult by that time. However, the spark was near gone and the glow had dulled down. Her clothing had become more mature and refined instead of the opposite like most of the other girls in college. Angelica stared at the picture feeling a bit of regret for the young woman. When had she began to change?